Life — March 3, 1927 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GREAT CAESAR’S GitosT! —Harvard Lampoon, Where Are the Ladies of Yesteryear? Wuene are the ladies of yesteryear? John Erskine’s done for ‘em, T fear; By methods that we won't discuss he’s Made all our heroines into hussies. Helen and Guinevere aren't at all The women we thought when we were small.—Chicago Daily News. “Tuar girl sitting yonder by the palm is trying to flirt with me.” “What did she do—wink at you?” “No—she crossed her legs at me.” —Michigan Gargoyle. “YES, 1 PICKED TIM UP THE OTT “SALE or witat?” —Punch (London), by permission, R DAY AT A SALE,” “Aut Scissors aut Nullus” The Jimtown Weekly Sasiety and Pursonals Pytutas Peavy says he's mighty glad he walks in his sleep. He saves a lot of time that way. He gets his rest and exercise at the same time. Bob Criddle says he lost his trunk with the foreign labels on it and now he’s gotta tour Europe all over again. eee Zachary Grump visited his cousin in New York last month and was shown all the points of interest, including a place where liquor can’t be bought. We take pleasure in reporting that little Joe Peavy, who swallowed a nickel last week, has entirely recovered from his financial difficulties. Sheriff Pug Sullivan is in bed this week, suffering from a bad case of con- fiseation. —Barrie Payne, Associated Editors (Chicago). Diplomacy Again Pronapty the most complete definition of diplomacy was given by a little boy in English class. “It’s the thing that gets you intg trouble,” he s “when a boy bigger than you has told something that isn’t so and you tell him so without using it.” —Leesburg Commercial. The Time Limit Patmen, aged seven, re- turned from his first day at school. His mother asked him at what time school began. “Well,” said Palmer, “I don’t know. The bell rings twice, at quarter of and of."—New York Sun, All Off He: True, my salary is not large, but then, two can live as cheaply as one. Sue: But, Tom, dear, you forget—there'’s moth- er.—Boston Transcript. Aw editorial in a Sas- katchewan paper asks plaintively, “Where is this craze for nudity to stop?” Possibly at nudity. —Edmonton (Alberta) Bulletin. “Moruen, dear,” piped the child bride, who was writing a note to her lawyer, “how many zeros in a million?” —Detroit News Passenger (to pilot) : witereanovts ARE YOUR FIRE BUCKETS? siit’s CAUGHT ALIGHT, —Smith’s Weekly (Sydney). A Thought for To-day J. Faaxx Nonars is going back to the pulpit, and Aimée McPherson is pro- claiming the gospel with both eyes on the box-office. And what we wonder is how often in each of their services they ask the audience to stand and sing, “The Old-Time Religion,” New Orleans Times-Picayune. The Aspiring Playwright A cenxtieman of the theatre tells us that a script is now making the rounds of the producers with this gem embedded in it: “A trumpet sounds offstage that has a sort of a kind of a Cosmic pulse.” We understand the play probably won't be produced this season.—New Yorker. Danwixias Cini (observing Zoo monkeys): Pop, do they let them out after they turn into people?—Collier’s. Men skirts. no longer hide behind women’s Neither do women. —Arkansas Gazette. “WELL, WHAT DID YOU BEAT HIM ror?” “WHY, BECAUSE HE ISN'T AS STRONG as 1 aM.” —Le Rire (Paris). comicbooks.com