Life — January 20, 1927 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE CHIROPRACTOR TAKES A DAY OFF Great Unknowns Meet T was January, 1928. Two young men were occupy- ing a Pullman ion. When the conductor stopped at their seats one of them said: “What time you got, Con- ductor? Ten-twelve, eh? Thank you. I had ten-six, but this watch always runs slow.” The other young man remarked: “I had ten-seven My watch is supposed to be a good one, but I only it for sentimental reasons, for it was presented to the Woodpit Gazette when they picked me as Right FE. on the All-American team of 1926.” “Yeah, that so?” contributed the other. “Glad to know you, for I was selected as Right End—All-American, 1926—by the Millrift: Time That's how I got my watch, My name's Clune, ‘Fiddler’ Clune, and I was with Millrift Tech in 26. Who were you with?” “I was with Woodpit Universi and we won the championship of southeastern New York name's Jerry Boland. You fellows were Florida Coast Champs, weren't you?” Clune nodded. “Odd that we should meet this * continued Boland, both of us being All-American Right Ends in 26, ch? Well, ‘it's a small world , as one of my girl friends remarked one day.” “You said it!” agreed Clune. And that was the end of their con- Nersation; for, after all, they had nothing much in common, and less to say, as a general thing. E. T. Conroy. Gentle Rebuke to a Gossip OOD Heaven forfend! Oh, I hate innuendo, And slander I loathe and despise. ilumniations that slay reputations Are cruel, unholy, unwise. If Smith sows some wild oats and Brown on a child dotes, If Guinivere’s more than a flirt— It's nothing to me, dear. But pray you, proceed, dear— I hate to miss any good dirt. Kile Crook. The Real Test Y neighbor, Mortimer Q. Fosdick, if tried on charges of habitual neglect and procrastination be- fore a jury of casual observers, undoubtedly would get the limit Mortimer invariably abandons his change on the box- office window sill, and he maintains the continuity of for- getfulness by leaving the theatre tickets in the pocket of his other coat on the evening of the performance. He never gets around to putting on the storm win- dows until after the first seed catalogue of the budding season has made. its seductive appeal. In filing his income-tax returns he takes the count of ten and is usually on one knee at the bell. He agrees perfectly with Napoleon thatan unanswered letter in time answers itself. But in the final estimate, the name of Mortimer Q. Fosdick is one to be written large in the annals of his community as that of an alert and heedful man, a shining exemplification of the “do it now” spirit. He has a record of having replaced a worn-out shoe- lacing the very day that it broke. . Edward A. Barney. full Business as Usual a HAT did that boot- legger get police rt this morning? couple of new cus- tomers.” The Theatre Talkers He: TWey WAVE EXCELLENT ACOUSTICS IN THIS THEATRE. She: yes, AND THEY’RE SO POLITE, Too. comicbooks.com