Life — January 6, 1927 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

nine out of ten business executives as well as the man voted most likely to succeed at Yale University. There must be a written gnarantee with each package, I must accept no sub- stitute, and if you, my dealer, do not carry it I may order direct from the manufacturer. I am acting now be- cause the offer will be open for only a limited period. However, on sec ond thought I guess I won't have it to-day, and could you give me a drink of water, one match, and the Mballear Fair Lady: yes, TUE KNIGHT HAS A THOUSAND EYES. The Composite Advertisement Reader Visits the Composite Drug Store “ ATTENTION, Mr. Progressive Dealer! I am an American better-class consumer of high buy- ing power and I want some of that well-known product which sweetens the breath, soft- ens the beard at the base, removes the film, strength- ens the hair at the root, saves one half of my fuel bill, guards against fire and poverty in old age, destroys dandruff, keeps the gums healthy, ban- ishes blackheads and the stammering habit, gives sound, restful sleep and real shaving delight, stops that cough, stimulates the scalp, teaches piano play- ing a new, easy way with- out notes, shapes the cuticle, washes without in- juring the fabric, de- velops culture and a per- fect-looking nose, contains no chemical preservative but all the body-building elements, is friendly to the tongue and throat, good for the digestion, and safe for baby’s skin, is not a drug, brings pipe peace, popularity, a beautiful complexion in fifteen days, big money in cartooning. and cash for my spare time. It must come in a handy-sized, sealed container, be the acknowledged leader in its field, and the choice of 245 met THE LADY WHO WOULD HAVE A REPRODUCING PIANO, right morning.” time? Thank you. Good W.W. Scott. From a Club Chair ONE thing I look for as a result of Queen Marie's late visit is a lot more municipal holidays, be- cause, otherwise, what are our alder- men going to do with their new top- hats? oe # There is consolation in reflecting that in a decade or so the flapper will be looking on her daughter's actions and wondering what's come over the Younger Generation. eee The British Commonwealth of Na- tions has decided against a written constitution, which is about as subtle a slap at the Anti-Saloon League as has been administered in some time. oe I used to think Turner had a unique gift for vivid color until I saw what has been done by the artists who mix lip-stick tints. James Kevin McGuinness The Wrong Arm of the Law IRSTLAWYER: What are you looking so sour for, Cavendish? Seconn Lawyer. After I got all through getting my man acquitted on the most eloquent plea I've ever made, I find out he was really innocent. ROFESSIONAL Loy- alty—Not a sex story broke that day. so the edi- tor of the tabloid engaged an actress to slay him. comicbooks.com