Life — January 6, 1927 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Our Foolish ok Yesterday “nonnors! nwany 18 KNOCK-KNEED!” Well Connected Anny (a successful man, to his better half): And I ses to ‘Is Lordship, I ses, “If you are a county family, I'm as good as wot you are,” and ’e ses, “Yus, you're a branch of the Rodent family, ain't yer?” 'e ses, and I let ‘im think so! —London Opinion, The Setback of Notre Dame Ksvre Rocke is in Hollywood writ- ing a football melodrama for the screen. It is understood the entire Carnegie Tech eleven is pushed over the cliff in the seventh reel.—Detroit News. Aw American author has made a list of the world’s ten worst writers, But surely there must be more than ten of them?—Punch. wroint is everything. A Chinese jal says the white race is a menace to civilization.—Toledo Blade, Ir is never too late for a woman to keep an appointment. —Everybody's Weekly. atch “TIERDERT 18 QUITE A DUDE, AIN'T HE, wiLt’um ?” “YEH, IME ALLUS WEARS A DERBY ON A CITY JOB. —Harvard Lampoon. “Aut Scissors aut Nullus"” Personal Experience Ture teacher in a high-school Eng- lish class had asked the pupils to write an editorial for the foliowing day, and in giving suggestions had said that “puppy love” would be an teresting topic to work up. A mem- ber of the class, who was busy copy- ing the assignment when the above statement was made, looked up and innocently inquired: “Does it have to be a personal experience?” —Indianapolis News, We like the lady who remarked, “When T have been talking to her for an hour I feel as though I have been moving heavy furniture about.” —Bystander (London). “sor, captars! sty rar!” —Tit-Bits (London). Back on the Billboards Ronerr Gurcxter tells of an actor whose steady failure to get a part had no effect on his sublime ego. Encounter- ing him the other day, Gleckler inquired what he was doing. “Got a fine break,” enthused the fel- low. “I've been cast for a cigarette testimonial.” —New York Morning Telegraph. Our Times Again Ix the old days it was the self-abas- ing man who Wasn't Fit to Touch the Hem of Her Garment. Now it's only one of the Singer Midgets. —New York World. Figure That Out Wrurtaxe was taken ill and unable to go to schovl. His mother wrote to the teacher as follows: “Biles got the beleak.” —London Daily News. “Tight-fisted, is he?” “If you came in with a message from Mars he wouldn't accept it collect.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. Menners of a Georgia lynching mob have received sentences of from four years to life. They lynched a white man. —St. Louis Post-Dispatch. ontemporaries “sarnveLous! = wanY = TLAS ios!" —Lustige Blatter (Berlin). CILARLESTON What's a Couple of Years? A simp news reporter who shall be nameless here has been associated with a morning paper for several years and is extremely popular with ali skippers and seamen because he is a genuine guy. His only fatal habit, they say, is drink. Not a few times he has been carried across the pond and back because he didn’t hear the call of “All ashore!” When he failed to return to his news- paper after an assignment the mob took it for granted that he was drunk and Europe-bound again. Once, however, while visiting the crew of a steamer he got brutally plastered. When he came to he discovered that he was on a world cruise, the first port being Rio de Janeiro, He decided to complete the long voyage. Two years later, after seeing the world, he returned to New York, has- tened to his office and went straight to his desk. “For the love of Mike!” he bellowed. “Who the hell moved my type- writer?”—New York Graphic. You never know how much a man can't remember till he is called as a witness,—Detroit News, “on, DON’T BE SUCH A BORE, GLADYS, TLL TELL YOU WHEN I’M THROUGH HAVING YoU LEND IT TO ME.” —New Yorker. comicbooks.com