Life — December 30, 1926 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Life The Logical Conclusion By Marc Connelly (A Senate Committee is in session in Washington, sometime in 1928. Senators Genuno and Newsank are whispering in a corner.) NEWBANK: I don’t want any- 4% thing for nothing; I just want to make that trade with you. You mean December 3? For July 16. On condition that you help me keep half of October for my people? Newnank (offering his hand): Gentlemen’s agreement! Genune (accepting shake): Gentlemen's agreement! Cuarman Wis: Gentlemen, suppose we get down to work. (The others sit down at a large table. A stenographer decides to use another pencil instead.) 1 think that with the adjustment of the few remaining problems before us to-day we can feel that the Senate Committee on Calendar Reorganization has done its work well. It’s been a hard job tu arrange a good calendar for next vear from the thousands of applica- tions of organizations and individu- als who wish to have defi- nite periods of time named after them for interna- tional celebration, but I think we've done it. (Ie consults a large chart be- fore him.) It seems to be the agreement of the Com- mittee that the January dates are satisfactory to the nation as a whole. They are as follows: Weck of the Ist: Send a Telegram to a Friend Week. Week of the 8th: Have Some Fun Week. Week of the 15th: Try a Cali- fornia Grapefruit Week. Newnank: Beginning at mid- night, I suppose? Wissett: Sure. Each week or day must begin at midnight, just as if it were a regular week or day. Does that answer the Senator's question? Newnank: Yes, sir. Wisseti: To resume: Week of the 22d to be called Hear a Good Lec- ture on Something Interesting Week. That leaves three days for the fol- the hand- lowing celebrations proposed — by members of the Committee: January 29th: Use Lots of Elee- tricity Day. January 30th: Buy a Bottle of Fruit Flavoring Day. January 31st: International a Pint of Ice-Cream Day. I don’t know whether we ought to have that last Day with the “Inter- natiohal” in it. 1 believe the Day was proposed by nator Lissinger. Lissincer (rising): Mr. Chi man. Wissett: Senator I Lissincer: It'll please F Wisseii: I see. (Lissinor: Now then, all in favor of presenting the month as it stands to Congress for ification ple : assent by sa é Tue Orners: Aye! Wissent: Opposednoit- issordered. (He picks up another chart.) February —(He smiles as he sees a tightening of attention) presents a few little prob- lems. I assume the week of the Ist is still accept- able as Throw That Old Fur Coat Away and Get a Fine New One Week. The week of the 8th seems to present the first rub. Senator Muffner has asked if he might speak on the matter. Murr: Gentlemen, I don’t want to scem a mean old crank. When I made my suggestion at the deadlock session last month I thought I was doing it for the good of the country as a whole. Sena- tor Lissinger had said that nobody seemed to want anything to do with the week on account of Lincoln's Birthday coming in the middle of it, and the week just seemed to be deadwood. That's why I suggested that we celebrate it as Have Another Cali ia Grapefruit Week Special. Lissincer: Just a minute. Wisseiti: Senator Lissinger. (Mvrrner sits down and dries his eyes.) Lissincrr: Senator Muffner oughtn’t to be sore at me. That was just lobby gossip about my asking that the week of the 8th be called Protect Your Mexican Petroleum Properties Week. I know how every- body feels about this particular week with the birthday in it and all, and I've got a solution, I think. As it's still open on the books we can do something with it that has no party interest in it or anything else. Something that would give the nation a chance to pay a tribute to a man we all love. I propose we call it How About a Little Vermont Maple Syrup Week. (Produces a document as he observes general good feeling.) I felt everyone would feel good about the suggestion and in a private ca- pacity I had an official spokesman ask the President how he felt about it. This was the President's an- swer (Reads): "(Loud cheers. Lissincer sits down.) Wissett: Well, now, that’s pretty fine. While you were cheering I got word that Senator Hewbank will agree to the week of the 15th being called Let's Go to Florida For a Couple of Weeks Week, and there isn’t any question mark against the (Continued on page 25) comicbooks.com