Life — December 23, 1926 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Life SUST BETWEEN US GIRLE “V ELL, my dear, I'm SIMply hysTERical because I mean I've been READing the most SCREAMing thing in the PApers about a new BEAUTY cult or something in LONdon which has the most riDICulous SLOgan effect which is ‘EXercise Your FACE’—can you BEAR it, my dear? ANYways, it says in the papers that this CULT effect tells everybody to make FACES with their FACE, my dear, because making all kinds of obNOXious-looking FACES keeps you YOUTH ful- looking—I mean did you EVER in your L IFE, my dear, hear of ANYthing QUI TE so abSURD? Well, pa this CULT thing says ‘never lose an opporT WORK the FACIAL muscles’ and I mean it should simply WORK her FACE the enTIRE time, my dear, especially in OMnibuses, which I think is POSi- tively disG ng because I mean I think simply EVERY man you met on a Fifth Avenue bus or any- thing would be picking you UP, my dear—I mean J HONestly DO! And THEN, my dear, this CULT effect says to ‘roll your eyes,’ because I mean it says that ‘few people realize that the BEAUTY of the EYE is only mainTAINED’ or something ‘through EXercise’-—now I ASK you, my dear, DID you EVER hear of ANYthing so perfectly riDICulous? But I mean the LAST thing which this CULT thing makes you do ABsolutely SLAYS me, my dear, because it says ‘Do not be afraid to BITE—biting develops the MUScles of the JAW and that CLEAR, strong LINE to the PROfile’-—well, I mean WHO is a girl to BITE, my dear? ACtually, I think it’s the most POISonous idea I’ve ever HEARD of—i mean I HONestly DO!” Lloyd Mayer. Extra Time ED: Do you have the five-day week at your place? Nev: Not yet, but the prospects are good. The boss plays golf. IONGRESS—A_ body of men surrounded by Wayne B. Wheeler. ONCE THERE WAS A CADDY WHO HAD A MOUTH-ORGAN. Anathema ALENCIA” may be sung to me—I'll never strike a blow; You may try vile puns on “Horses”—I'll forgive. Say “Atta boy!” or “Howsa kid?” or “Well, what do you know?” You may call my wife “the wiff"—I'll let you live. But watch what happens if you say with condescending grin: “You're a better man than I am, Gordon Gin!” in the face of such as ‘What's the dirt to- Use “Hot enough for you?” at your sweet will. And things like “Here's success to crime!” with me are quite O. K., While “Olive Oil!” gives me no lust to kill But when you try the following the murder: “You're a better man than I am, Gordon Gin 5 begin: Aye, prate your fill of all the trite expressions known to youth; You'll only rouse in me a weary sigh, For I assume such vaporings, though stupid and uncouth. Are not sufficient cause for you to die. But if you use that hated phrase and I don’t do you in “You're a better man than I am, Gordon Gin!” ” Tip Bliss The Society Editor Goes Crazy HE lawn was ablaze with gaily colored Japanese lanterns marked b funeral of touching dignity and solemnity Miss Helene Fish-Flake wore azure tulle pinked by hand-embroidered scrofule along the edges this charming couple whose wedding is set for the week after the groom comes out of jail and now with all the young folks home from ultra-fashionable Eastern schools the stork is hover- ing over Blatchford Smuggins who has been vacationing in Paris be- fore delicious dainty sandwiches of corned beef and rye bread were served just a few intimate friends and creditors and far into the night the saxophones moaned while the bride's great-grand- father coming to this country from Bosnia as a poor immigrant boy in 1657 in no other city can such an assemblage of haut ton and coup de grace be discovered. Robert Lord. So a Seems HE: don’t think money makes a happy marriage, do you? Sue: No, but it makes up for an unhappy one. Dtrokb arn comicbooks.com