Life — December 16, 1926 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Christmas in Nubbville ATTENDANCE AT THE JAIL HAVING FALLEN WHIPPLE TAKES DESPERATE MEASURES TO TRADE. OFF, SHERIFF STIMULATE, One Girl in a Million HE sat opposite her, trying not to look glum while she chattered. With difficulty he forced a smile now and then or gave a polite nod. He was thinking: Lord, w a bore!...Here is the dullest girl in the world. She is stupid, silly, unoriginal. She talks nothing but the dreariest and most bromidic gush—I'll never see her again... He began to search his tired brain for a pretext to leave. “T've just) washed my hair,” he heard her say, “and—" Wincing, he eyed the door—one leap and he'd— “And I can do anything I want with it,” she concluded. There was a short silence. “Will you marry me?” he asked fervently. Tupper Greenwald. “THIS PARTY PROMISES WELL.” “ttow so?” “WELL, 1 NOTICE INSTEAD OF MISTLETOE THEY'VE HU CALIFORNIA and Southern Cali- fornia are anxious to split apart and form two States, but negotiations are at a standstill because the contending parties can’t decide which shall retain custody of the climate. The two new States formed by the subdivision of Cali- fornia might reasonably be called Rotaria and Realtoria, Jt “Here they are! The cle Anderson! Made of fine 6 Ib. size. Nickle plated —Adet, in Anderson (Ind.) paper crest new ‘Charleston’ dresses in le prints. Guaranteed for 3 years, A girl can’t be too careful, these days. aL Dr. Husert H. Kimpart, of the U. S. Weather Bureau, ys that people in New York inhale 350,000 particles of dirt with every breath, but this estin exaggerated. the theatre. ate seems a trifle New Yorkers don’t spend all their time at a © many friends of Mrs. Julia S street, underwent pital Sunday nigh ay, 204 North Myers serious operation at the Presbyterian hos- —Charlotte (N. C.) Obsercer. At least, when Mrs. Gray got through telling about it, that’s what it seemed like to her many friends. aL At the recent election in Athens, General Coxpyias filled the streets with infantry, artillery, armored cars and tanks, to insure, as he expressed it, “the free expression of the will of the people.” We understand that Wayxr B. Wueeter has invited General Cox- pyLis to come over and superintend the next Prohibition Referendum. aL What every Congressman knows— that Mr. Wieexen’s in the gallery. JL “Divorcen nut Losesome “Our neighbor Newton Creech informes t the last term of the Wolf Cir- rt he secured his divor not satisfied with that but is candidate for Matrimony again looking for some middie with dark black looking who wishes to sea of matrimony with him he seems to be slow in finding her to our suprise we would have thought that Newt would have had one alread picked, by the time he secured his divorce, but if he is as long finding a helpmate as he has been in securing his divorce from the w he left years ago, he will be so gray that he will be out of luck proper.” —Wolfe County (Ky.) Journal. Don't let ‘em kid you, Newt. LL and is The five-day week should win by ac- clamation when the American people realize that it will give them more JUNIPER BERRIES.” time to read the Sunday papers. comicbooks.com