Life — December 16, 1926 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cy “1 DIDN’T CARE MUCH FOR TRIXIE—HER NECK TOO LONG.” “CAN'T AGREE WITH YOU THERE, OLD MAN; 1 ENJOYED EVERY MINUTE OF IT.” Was The Impotent Host THIS winter I have not been told that nothing can take the place of good whisky. I have enjoyed immunity from obnoxious persons who would like to tell me that I should take a cold shower every morning. Not once this season have I been reminded of the man in Barre, Vermont, who starts each day with a five-minute swim in an icy creek, followed by a brisk barefoot canter through snowdrifts. Strangely silent, too, are those people who used to tell me that steam-heated houses were sapping our vitality. I see them every day, those Samaritans who advocate medium-weight instead of heavy underwear; heavy- weight instead of medium underwear; going hatless and wearing a cap with fur-lincd carlaps; eating more meat and going without food for three weeks; conserv- ing energy by avoiding strenuous exercise and building up resistance by running two miles daily; avoiding draughts and breathing deeply while standing at an open window—yes, I see them every day. But I can’t hear them. I haven’t had a cold this winter. Now, about that cold of yours; have you tried... Gerald Cosgrove. Not a Refugee OTEL CLERK: Just in from Chicago, I see, Mr. Smith. Mr. Smitu: No; that’s a moth hole in my lapel. Life Why Young People Prefer to Pet E: My hair’s a perfect mess! He: I think it looks charming that way. I just put on an old dress, e: I think it’s the most becoming one you have. Sue (giggling): Do you really like it? How funny! He: I like you in blue. Sue: Blue is my favorite color, but it’s just an old thing—I don’t know how I ever came to wear it. He: Well, it’s ) Sue (fussing with her hair): please don’t look at it! He: I think it looks lovely that way —sort of rumpled. Sur (giggling): Honestly, my dear, you're a scream! He: Well, your hair’s awfully pretty, Sue: Do you really think so? How funny! He: I like it sort of rumpled that way. Sur: I know I look a perfect sight...1 just put on an old dress. He: I think it’s awfully becoming. 's a mess— Lloyd Mayer. Why Tax Refunds Aid Prosperity UNDAY—John Jones reads in paper that tax-re- fund checks are being mailed. Drops paper with how] of delight, dashes from apartment, buys self three 50-cent cigars and blows $1.40 on box of candy for wife. Monday—Throws away radio batteries and pays for A and B eliminators. Wishes he could afford new Grumbles about car looking shabby, too. Tuesday—Trades in old radio for $5 on $275 snooper- hootrodyne. Asks wife how she likes that radiator cap on the new Flipflop Eight. Wednesday—Pays $80 for a new overcoat. Detours cight blocks going to office to pass Flipflop Agency. Thursday—Gives wife $165 to buy motoring costume. Calls up Flipflop Agency and asks for demonstration. Friday—Swaps in old car for $75 on new Flipflop Eight at $2,250. Saturday—Receives tax refund of 27 cents. Asia Kagowan. OIE FULLER may go down in history as the Girl Who Walked Home from a Train Ride. “‘THERE’S SOMETHIN’ I FORGOT TO PUT IN MY LETTER TO SANTA CLAUS, LEMME HAVE IT BACK, WILL YUH, PLEASE?” comicbooks.com