Life, 1926-12-09 · page 17 of 45
Life — December 9, 1926 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces: 1. **"Ballad of Bootlegger Bill"**: A satirical poem mocking Prohibition-era bootleggers. The narrative follows a character who attempts increasingly dangerous stunts (driving recklessly, delivering contraband) to prove his worth, ultimately failing comically. The repeated refrain about "failing to bring home the moon" suggests absurd, impossible boasts. 2. **"Try and Fool 'Em!"**: A cartoon showing two children discussing Christmas, with one spelling out that their father is "down to see S-A-N-T-A" to avoid spoiling the surprise—satirizing parental attempts to maintain childhood innocence. 3. **"Nothing to It," "Antiques," and "Absolutely Peaceful"**: Short comedic sketches about salesmanship, furniture fraud, and noisy apartment living. The page satirizes American consumer culture and social pretensions of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Ballad of Bootlegger Bill “ ‘AKE up, wake up, Bootlegger Bill, And pull on your pants and shoon; Let it never be said a mate o’ mine Has failed to bring home the moon.” He’s mounted him on his two-ton truck ‘And pushed down quick on the gas, With a cough and a purr she’s ta’en the road, A galleon of glittering brass. it in high, oh, take it in high,” -s crafty old Bootlegger Bill; “We're goin’ fine, and soon at the Line, And soon at the dry-gin mill.” Oh, he’s come to the Line, and he’s come to the mill, And he’s filled his truck to the eaves, And he’s turned her round, and he’s home- ward bound As the chill wind flutters the leaves. Oh, he’s come to the Line and he’s peered ahead To sce whate’er he can see, And there in the glen are the Agents ten, All armed from head to knee! “Get down, get down, Bootlegger Bill, And hold your hands up high. ye cold; you're too damned old We've ot 3 To be comin’ through with the rye.” “Oh, hold your fire,” says Bootlegger Bill, “And have a drink on me. I admit I'm through; glad of it, too— Night-life has been gettin’ me.” Bootlegger Bill's laid down his arms assed the seething bowl— The Agents ten drink once again, And get knocked for a blooming goal. Oh, Bootlegger Bill’s on his two-ton truck And has stepped upon the gas; With a cough and a purr she’s ta’en the road, A galleon of clattering glass. “Wake up, wake up, O mate o’ mine, And make me my breakfast soon. ‘Twill never be said a mate o’ thine Has failed to bring home the moon.” M. S. Peterson. HE United States potato crop is below normal this year, which may indicate that restaurant hash in the future will have a higher meat content than the stand- ard 2.75 per cent. Try and F Kid I: vow v’ye THINK We’LL MAKE OUT THIS CHRISTMAS? Kid II: rine. gust uearp p-a 8-A-N-T-A, AND THAT HE WAS GON Nothing to It AUDREY: Some salesman, Jack—backed Henrietta into a corner, and sold himself to her in less than five minutes. Irene: Yes—she’s been waiting for a chance to trade herself in! NAN ‘ool 'Em! SAY THAT HE WAS DOWN TO SEE GET US ALL THE T-O-Y-8 THAT KIN -L-T! Antiques URNITURE SALESMAN: These chairs, madam, are gen- uine Adams. Customer (looking them over): But where are the worm holes? Saresman: Oh, you are think- ing of Adam's apples! — Absolutely Peaceful Prospective Guest: 18 THIS A QUIET ROOM? AN APARTMINT HOUSE NEXT DOOR. Landlady: sung, an’ 17's THAT QUIET YE CAN HEAR THIM BLASTING FER comicbooks.com