Life — December 2, 1926 — page 54: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Obristms T, 7 (°e@ Xumber THE CLUB DUFFER RECEIVES A SUITABLE GIFT FROM THE GREENS COMMITTEE. True Story "THERE were once a couple of guys named Joc and Al, who were engaged in the almost universal pursuit of getting nowhere in particular. They were possessed of no outstanding accomplishments unless one might accept their ability to shoot a wicked snipe and play snooker pool (things which one naturally never could ac- cept, even as a loan). They had no appeal, no funds and no mittens or rubbers. One day they had a great idea. They changed their names to José and Alvarez and got jobs in the movies, where they rose immediately to the top. All went just simply amba for a while and José and Alvarez were considering schooner yachts when, almost coincidentally, Valentino died and “Valencia” records began to be found broken, evidently with some blunt instrument. To-day our heroes are just a couple of guys named Joe and Al. A.M.S., Jr. A Very Generous Procedure R. JONATHAN K. JOLLUP sat at the head of M the breakfast table on Christmas morning and beamed at his wife, who sat at the foot. Then he beamed in turn at his daughter, who sat on his left, and his son, who sat on his right. “This is indeed an auspicious occasion,” declared Mr. Jollup, as he whipped out his check book and fountain pen. “I am giving money this year,” he added, as he began to write a check. The eyes of the others brightened. This was great! What had come over her mate and their sire? He had always pooh-poohed the giving of Yuletide gifts. With a brisk motion Mr. Jollup tore the finished check from the book and held it out to his daughter. She took it, glanced at the amount and then laughed with delight. “Oh, Father, how perfectly darling of you! A hundred dollars!” Mr. Jollup held up a commanding hand. With the other he held out the fountain pen to the girl. “En- dorse it,” said he. She did so, a trifle puzzled now. “Give it to John along with the pen,” said Mr. Jollup. “Endorse it,” ordered Mr. Jollup. His son did so, wonderingly. “Now give it to your mother,” com- manded his father. “You endorse it, Elvira,” said Mr. Jollup. Mrs. Jollup took up the pen and en- dorsed the check, obediently but doubtfully. “Give it to me, please,” said Mr. Jollup then. “Now,” he re- marked, as he took the check from his wife’s hand, carefully folded it and placed it in one of the vest pockets over his ample front, “now we have each given a total of one hundred dollars as a Christmas present to some member of the. family, and I think that is a very gencrous procedure upon the part of us all. Another cup of coffee, Elvira.” Fred B. Mann. cm Crs) Myrtle: WHERE DID HANK GET ALL HIs MONEY? Myrtille: iN THE MOLD-UP BUsI- NESS. “What?” MANU GARTER: “YES—HE Another Confession “NATALIE, where did you get that coin you have in your hand?” “Well, Mother, I'll be honest with you. I stole it out of your pocketbook.” Mvp: You look as if you'd suffered terribly. Berty: Thanks! Am I as thin as all that? comicbooks.com