Life, 1926-12-02 · page 31 of 81
Life — December 2, 1926 — page 31: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains holiday-themed satirical content from Life magazine's Christmas issue (page 29). **"A Christmas Litany"** is a parody prayer listing annoying, cheap, or unwanted typical Christmas gifts—fountain pens, hip flasks (Prohibition-era reference), tacky neckties, poorly-made cuff buttons, and books by popular authors like Eddie Guest and Harold Bell Wright. It mocks both commercialized gift-giving and specific contemporary consumer products. **"The Inevitable Solution"** depicts a family unable to find a Christmas tree during apparent scarcity (likely WWI-era shortages), then deciding to humorously "trim Father" as a Christmas tree instead—decorating him like evergreen branches. **"Counsel"** is a brief lawyer joke where a man asks if the lawyer's daughter would make a suitable wife; the lawyer answers no and charges five dollars. **"Nanook" caption** references the famous documentary character, humorously explaining melted igloo as result of a "mouse-warming" party. The page satirizes consumer culture, gift-giving conventions, and wartime scarcity through humor accessible to period readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Otristms JT, 7 (°e@ Number A Christmas Litany Fs: cheap, colored fountain pens And non-refillable pencils ; From hip-flasks devoid of spirituous contents, Good Lord, deliver us! From necktie racks of embroidered hoops; From pipes of near-briar and celluloid mouthpieces; From come-apart cuff buttons that always do; . From neckties of rainbow-shaming hues, We beseech Thee to spare us! From the poems of Eddie Guest, The novels of Harold Bell Wright; From prize novels of the year, And the Essays of Dr. Crane, Deliver us, we pray Thee! From pocket diaries and desk sets; From subscriptions for the Dearborn Independent; From carpet slippers, knitted ties and gaudy socks; From framed wall mottoes, “Do It Now" and such; From friendship calen- dars and - Golden Thoughts for Bren Deehaer, Golden Days, Good Lord, deliver us! Nanook: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR IGLOO? 17's ALL MELTED. Finally, O Lord, for Oogah: 1 GAVE A MOUSE-WARMING LAST NIGHT. those gifts of Yule g We do not receive, The Inevitable Solution We thank Thee for Thy HE children, of ages from two years to twenty, loving Rindnests joined in wails of disappointment. D. Weissman. First the stores had been searched for a suitable Christmas tree; later, with the scar- city growing more apparent hourly, any tree at all had been sought. None could be had at any price. Then the country roundabout had been scoured for three days, vainly; trees were simply not to be had for love, money, or work. Even Mother felt the rising tide, and wore a disconsolate look as she racked her brains for a way out. And then it came! The great idea seemed to burst in on all the children at the same time. “Let's trim Father!” they cried as onc, and forward they rushed, a determined and jubilant phalanx. Wayne G. Haisley. Counsel : May I ask you, sir, if you ur daughter would make a suitable wife? Lawyer Bacoum: No, sir, I don’t think she would. Five dollars, “OM, DREADFULLY. s N ¢ ACCOUNT OF please, UNCLE DICK. HE 80 ENJOYS SE i comicbooks.com