Life — December 2, 1926 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Lile Why not Give the Finest? The Classics Made Simple As John Dryden wrote it: “None but the brave deserves the fair.” Translated into American: EAH? Oh, yeah? You an’ which regiment of Marines, dearie? Lissun, kid, you tellin’ me where to get off? Say, babe, I been steppin’ around since I got me growth an’ I never seen no law yet what we got to buy a taxicab after a movie pitcher show. — Lookut, handsome, they’s plenty of other frails in the woil’ ‘at ain't ashamed of meetin’ ol’ John W. Interborough face to face. I been there, good- lookin’, I been there! ‘A taxi!’ she says, an’ holds up one finger! Both hands you should of held up, angel. Thass the way the good gyp artists do it. I seen you diggers work be- fore an’ there ain't nobody puttin’ no oil cans on my grave yet. Not if anybody should drive up in a Rolls- Royce an’ ast you. Maybe you could bull some fish into a red meter, but the only times I been to the Aquarium was visitors’ day. Yeah! You takes me like I am, wonderful, or you just plain don’t cop. Thass the price list an’ we don’t make re- ductions for nobody. When I drop my coupla nickels in the turnstile I'm exhausted. Not that I wouldn't do right by you, foolish face; stick me an’ you'll wear handcuffs. } our card and this Gift Package of 100 Dunhill Cigarettes are an admirable answer to“ What shall I give?”... At your dealer’s, or, if more convenient, send $1.25 to CONTINENTAL TOBACCO CO. Inc. 44 West 18th Street, New York City Shoot it all you want—and just pet it away. LOW COST AMMUNITION Costs but a third that of the cheapest cartridges. UNSURPASSED ACCURACY At 75 feet—N.R.A. indoor range will oursboot .22 powder rifies. NOISELESS Can be sed In crowded communities — or Indoors. POWER WITHOUT POWDER ‘Witt hill small game. $225, pe 08 “Oe sen tor bevket, Buy a Crosman for Christmas and teach the Family How to Shoot. For This Air-Mail Aviators Risk Their Lives Analysis of the Contents of an Av- erage Sack of Air Mail GOUvEN IR posteards carry- ing wise-cracks about, “It is fly time I'm writing you.” Advertising matter sent by air mail for purpose of making impression on recipients... . Important - looking envelopes which contain nothing so im- portant it couldn’t have gone just as well by freight Eight-page letters that could have been better expressed in ten-word telegrams...... Miscellaneous junk . Total unnecessary matter in mail sack ........ Up-to-the-Minute RAWFORD: So there are only two streets in your old home town? 16942 Crassuaw: Yes, but they’re very progressive out there, They are one- way streets. IAI . by 1 / vuffs, saa aaa | Only you an’ who else can't make a sucker outa a wise smelt like Papa, Not so you'd notice it in a paid ad. Uh-uh!!_ I was kidded oncet by a hunka chemise but sincet then I quit believin’ they was a Santay Claus. You wanta walk home or say good evenin’ to the guy in the change booth? There’s an egg ‘at's got it on Hetty Green when it comes to philanthropy. A taxi! Huh! I ain't makin’ no gamble about what shell the little pea’s under. You pays your money an’ you takes your choice. ‘At’s my figure. Nerve is something I ain't got anything else but. “The subway? ’At's a_ baby! What say you an’ me step down to the License Bureau an’ knock ‘em for two dollars’ worth of hitch permit?” Tip Bliss. Freezing Youth ITTLE Eva Eskimo Lives among the ice and snow; She is living fast, my friends, Eats the candle at both ends. Resignation KITTY: Oh, well, it’s the Christ- mas spirit that counts. Betty: Who sent you a card m stead of a present this time? comicbooks.com