Life — November 25, 1926 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

29 A Delivery Problem A sportsman who was going to the Rockies to shoot went into a gunmaker's shop in London and ordered a large quantity of cartridges. “I usually deal with your head office,” he said, “but I daresay you can send these for me all right.” “Oh, yes, sir, certainly,” came the reply. “Well,” proceeded the sportsman, “I shall want them sent out to Alberta.” The assistant looked blank. “Oh, look here,” said the purchaser irritably, “perhaps I'd better give the order to the head office after all.” “Yes, agreed the salesman, haps it would be better. only got a boy with a bic —Sporting and Dramatic News, “per- You see, we've Understandable “You are charged with catching a four-inch fish out of season. Why didn’t you throw it back?” said the Judge. “[ wanted to show it to my wife,” the prisoner meekly replied. —Florida Times-Union, Assistant: App Similes: With the speed of a col- lege fraternity disillusioning a pledge. —Penn State Froth. = WILAT SIZE SHIRT, Retired Builder (absently) AWOUT TWO-FOOT FRONTAGE. —London Opinion. Ix the yellower and pinker journals murder will out and out and out. New York Herald Tribune. Good Housekeeping Mrs. Gavsny is broad-minded but economical—very economical, in fact. ‘The other morning she caught the ice- man kissing the cook. “Did you fire her?” asked Mr. Gadsby, alarmed, when he heard about it. “Oh, no,” his wife replied. “But I gave her strict orders not to let it hap- pen again till after he had put the ice into the box.” —New Orleans Times-Picayune. No tonte better than Abtott's Bitters, sample by mail, 25 ets. C. W. Abbott & Co, Baltimore, Md. Special from God's Footstool Tur Central Telegraph Office of Lon- don has accepted a radiogram for Mars at the regular long-distance rate of cighteenpence per word. Our idea of a cosmic jest would be to send Mars this e—collect: “This is the best of all possible worlds, Earth.” —New Yorker. messa As With Us Tur elephant, we read, sleeps only four or five hours a night, No doubt this is due to the elephants in the flat overhead. —Everybody's Weekly (London). Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. | Title registered in U.S. Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the eonat Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. Back numbers cannot be supplied. illustrations in Live ore copyrighted. For Re} rint Rights agrly to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buil ings, Fetter The foreign trade supplied from Lire’s London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C., Canadian distributor, ‘The American News Company, Ltd., 386-388 St, James Street, Montreal,’ Canada, No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire. does met hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unsolicited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two weeki prior to the date of issue to be affected, Chocolates Bonbonnieres £p Jeunesse “Yn perfection of selection in assored chocolates. decorated metal seaeally package. NEW YORK CHICAGO Madison Avenus Michigan Boulerere Ib .. ab 47® Street 2tb. . ~ Maillard Products are sold at most of the better stores everywhere, $1.73 $3.50 Maillard Restaurant and Candy tment in Stern Brothers’ store, West 42nd Street, New York THE Vinoy Park Hotel. a magnificent Spanish style hostelry on Tampa Bay, offers everything ‘one could desire in appointments, cuisine and ser- vice. It isa Frank H. Abbott & Son hotel under the direction of Karl P, Abbott. Advantageous location, convenient to everything of interest Fireproof. 480 rooms with bath. American Plan Season opens January first. Rates and information $t.Peters Beteratnrg § comicbooks.com