Life — November 18, 1926 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Proclamation L#* us give thanks, Because noxious Puritanical customs and regulations have at last been stamped out in our great and glorious nation, all blue laws erased from the books and the Day of Rest given over to those pursuits that seem most fitting to h individual; Because thei longer ¢ ganizations which attempt to dictate the modes of living and private mor- als of a supposedly free and intelli- no dispo- tical cliques to fore down the throats of the Because hy have entirely disappeared from the nation, leaving it country in which the best must invariably come to the top; Because hostile denominational factions, hooded orders to instill ra- cial hatred and sectarian points of view have vanished ; Because that great organ of public opinion, the Press, is concerned’ to- day only with issues of vital im- portance and no longer gives in its columns to murders, kidnap- ings, sex tangles, breach of promise suits, desertions by young brides of senile husbands, and thinly dis- guised filth in general; Because the public at large has be- come so educated that it gives its interest solely to such matters as plans for world peace, better gov- ernment and the improvement of the race, rightly comprehending that such trivial items as (sce latter part of preceding paragraph) are ephem- eral and unworthy of any comment; Because the United States of America is the only One Hundred Per Cent. faultless nation in this best of all possible worlds, And because, having got the above off my chest, I am tickled silly to see that I can still lie like hell with astraight face. Tip Bliss. narrow The Important Thing NGLISHMAN (proudly): The first game of cricket was played in ind in the thirteenth cen- tury! Avenican: Who won? HE only thing you can do at Thanksgiving dinner is to hope for the breast. Little Willie (at fashion show): wito winns THEM UP, MAMA? Line Against Line 'To°° many cooks spoil the broth. A stitch in time saves nine. Nothing venture, nothing have. The more, the merrier. A penny saved is a penny earned. A soft answer turneth away wrath. There is honor among thieves. Many hands make light work. It is never too late to mend. Look before you leap. Two's company—three's a crowd. Penny wise and pound foolish. Soft words butter no parsnips. Set a thief to catch a thief. C The True Sportsman “WHAT A BEAUTIFUL Day! LET’S GO OUT AND SHOOT SOMETHING.” comicbooks.com