Life, 1926-11-18 · page 4 of 44
Life — November 18, 1926 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, not satire or political commentary. The left side features a **Ben Wades pipe advertisement** showing a man smoking while boating. The ad emphasizes that Ben Wades pipes are favored by Oxford and Cambridge scholars, London clubmen, and British military officers—positioning the product as a luxury item for refined gentlemen. The right side contains **"The Quintessence of Candor,"** a humorous short story about St. Peter interviewing Orley F. Wormser at Heaven's gates. Orley admits to having done nothing good in life—he was selfish and unhelpful in Horizon City, Wisconsin. St. Peter sardonically grants him entry anyway, after Orley claims to have praised New York to his friends. The humor relies on ironic contrast: despite Orley's admitted worthlessness, he gains heavenly admission.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Your PIPE DREAMS COME TRUE —with England’s finest pipes —Ben Wades Ben Wades are top pipes with the most particular set of pipe-smoking men in the world. The men of Oxford and Cambridge. The clubmen of London. The officers of Britain’s proudest regiments. Rich-grained, gleaming—like the hull of a scull. Sweet and mellow from the first day on—the “breaking” is done in the making—by a secret Ben Wade method generations old. Flowing lines, glowing finish. Beau- tiful from bowl to bit—a patrician pipe that will rank *longside your pet mashie, your favorite Airedale pup or Chippendale chair—a personal treasure for your per- sonal pleasure—eloquent of the elegance of your tastes! BEN YADE BRIARS MADE IN ENGLANT Open Letter EAR Mr. Bull (I'd call John, = Only 'twould seem a bit informal) These cries that nations raise anon To get all navies back to normal Fill me with dread—I fear that you Striving to aid in stopping war, sir, Or tricked by weak-kneed retinue, Might scrap “H.M.S. Pinafore,” sir. We love her hull and personnel Not only in our ports, but inland, And learn she’s idolized, as well, From Argentina up to Finland. That such a tragedy befall, Heaven forfend with all four fenders! She is the queen of vessels all, From dreadnaughts down to bum- boat tenders. Trusting you'll guard her well, I am Your ancient kinsman, Uncle Sam. John Culnan, The Quintessence of Candor “T DON’T know about you,” said St. Peter, casting a dubious eye at the newcomer, who had been Or- ley F. Wormser of Horizon City, Wis. “What have you to say for yourself? Orley fidgeted, cleared his throat, and replied: “I have nothing to say for my- self. I didn’t do any good in the world. I looked out for my own in- terests all the time. I wasn’t very nice to people, and I wasn’t very kind to animals. I didn’t do a thing to help develop Horizon City. I'm no good and I guess I ought to go to Hell.” St. Peter scowled. “That's an old trick, Orley. You can’t win me over with that kind of humility. You must have done some honest things in your life.” Orley hung his head. “I can't recall a single one,” he mumbled. “Well, before I send you to Hell, Orley,” cried St. Peter with severity, “I'm going to ask you one question: r visit New York?” “Once,” said Orley wistfully. “What did you say about New York to your friends in Horizon City?” Orley gazed straight into St Peter's face as he cried: “I told them that New York was a great place to visit, and not only to visit but to live in.” The great gates swung open and Orley F. Wormser was escorted into Heaven by St. Peter personally. Tupper Greenwald, comicbooks.com