Life — November 18, 1926 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1 L [SUST BETWEEN US GIRLS] Zz ieee “WELL my dear, I’ve just seen the most exCRUci- ating PLAY you've ever KNOWN because I mean it's ACtually the MOST ridiculous thing you've ever SEEN, my dear, because the NAME of it is ‘GENTLE- men Prefer BLONDES’ or something and I mean it’s simply CRAMMED with the most FOOLish kind of DIAlogue because I mean it’s supposed to be about two kind of IGnorant and unEDucated GIRLS who are sort of social PARaSITES or something and have gone to EUROPE or somewhere on a BENDer and I mean their converSAtion and everything, my dear, is ACtually the MOST absurd thing you've ever HEARD because I mean it’s so kind of INFANtile the way they kind of exPRESS things all the TIME in kind of CHILDish WORDS or something because I mean they are not really NICE girls or anything, you see, but are ACtually really simply CHICKens and I mean ONE of them is supposed in this PLAY effect to be sent aBROAD for an eduCAtion or something by a kind of POISONOUS man who is a DRUMMER or some- thing perf'ly reVOLTing like that in ChiCAgo or some- wheres and I mean I think the PLAY is ACtually kind of imMORAL and everything be- cause I mean you kind of get the iDEA that this obJECtionable DRUMMER person is really inter- ESTed in this girl PHYSically and that all the TALK about her getting an eduCAtion in EUrope is really just a JOKE, But I mean I kind of HATE. kind of DEEP plays like that because I mean you never know WHEN to LAUGH or anything and I mean I ACtually didn't sce anything to LAUGH at because I mean I think the way these kind of CHEAP girls talked was ACtually kind of overDRAWN and everything because I mean even CHIPPIES like those could not ACtually be so kind of DUMB—I mean | HONestly don’t think they COULD!" Lloyd Mayer. Home Life WIFE OF GUNMAN: What do you mean by hanging around the house? Get out and go to work! You haven’t held up anybody in over a week! Le The Temptress OU’D think, with all the age and sense It has by now, that Providence Would overlook my vaporings, And turn its mind to bigger things. You'd think, compared with flood and war, My small concerns would be a bore. But no! The world may go to pot While I have service no one got. For do I stretch myself, and smile, And bask in peace a little whi And rashly murmur, “Here is bliss”— It cries, “We must look into this! Too full her cup to bear a drop; Well, well, this thing has got to stop.” Or do I weep me harsh and dry, And raise my futile fists on high, And curse my dam, and sob, and sweat,— It says, “She ain’t seen nothing yet” (Considering this the latest slang). So letting all the world go hang, It sets itself to showing me What true unhappiness may be. Ah, could I tempt assorted gents As sure as I can Providence, A different story I'd rehearse, And damned if I'd be writing verse! Dorothy Parker. Fairy Story ONCE there was a veteran newspaper reporter who gave a young man some advice. He told him to get into the newspaper game. Reporter: WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE MADE YOU LIVE SO LONG AND STILL ENJOY Goop HEALTH? Grandpa Zenias (106 years old): 1 HAD A SNAPPY ANSWER FORTY YEARS BACK, BUT I FORGET IT Now, comicbooks.com