Life — October 28, 1926 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Li From the Yeggs’ Almanac SNITCH in time saves crime. .* A Too many crooks spoil the broth. * *# & A bank messenger and his money are soon parted, * *£ * Fix the boss and fix the mayor and let the little fly cops go chase themselves. * * Early to bed and carly to rise, And you won't get mixed up with the heavy-jack guys. *# # A gat in the hand is worth two in the hock shop. ** # Don't count your pickin’s before the lawyer's paid. * ee # Shoot first and let your lawyer do the thinking after- wards 8 @ Be sure you're doped, then go ahead. ** # Never stick up to-morrow what you can stick up to-day. ee # No use erying over spilled evidence; appeal to a higher court * *# # All work and no jack—that’s a sucker’s layout. * * * Intimidation is the sincerest form of flattic. HWW. W. A Look Ahead } \LE: That big murder trial opens up to-morrow, doesn’t it? Dice: Yes, with the Daily Squawk as prosecutor and the Evening Squirt acting for the defense. pus amazing new process threat- ens to revolutionize the crime in- dustry. Have you been embarrassed by cops’ recognizing your fingerprints? My treatment will alter them beyond recognition. A good, clean trans- formation guaranteed. Fool your friends, and the law, by changing your fingerprints after cach murder, stick- BEFORE up or burglary. TREATMENT “T had been annoyed and embarrassed by the police for years. tints often landed me in jail. Then I tried your treatment and ted so that they closely resembled President Coolidge's. 1 to the White House.” HAVE YOUR FINGERPRINTS LIFTED!! READ WHAT A SATISFIED CUSTOMER HAS TO SAY: M had” Since then, all trails have WRITE NOW TO NO. 66836-M, JOLIET, ILLINOIS (1 discovered this process too late to help myself.) Le |SUST BETWEEN US GIRLE ‘Y YOU'LL SIMPly DIE when you hear what I've got to tell you, old dear! HON Y it’s posi- tively the SCREAMingest thing you've ever heard because I mean it ACtually is! I mean of COURSE everybody'd been telling me for perfect AG that GEORGE was MADly in LOVE with me but of course I NEVER believed it because it se so PERfectly abSURD, I mean, because he hasn't a CENT. Well, my dear, he ACtually proPOSED to me yesterday and I mean I was the most FLABbergasted person because it was so PERfectly GHASTly because he was so sort of SERIOUS about it and everything. And I mean I LLY felt FRIGHT fully SORRY for him because looked so sort of MISerable when I said I didn’t LOVE him, my dear, and what on EARTH could I s: But it was ACtually the most F TIC thing you ever saw, my dear, because he LOOKED so sort of URD and everything and I HONestly got almost hysTERical because I mean it was all so sort of riDICulous, do you know what I mean? And he got AWfully sort of FUSSED and SILLY about it and said something about my having a beautiful SOUL, my dear. Can you BEAR it? I mean I HONestly think it’s the FUN thing I ever HEARD! I me ACtually do!” Lloyd Mayer. Short Football Story “DLEASE,” begged Dan Me- Gregor, “please, coach, put me in! I can win the game. I've got a hunch I'm going to win it. You've got to put me in!” The coach turned to the pleading youth. “‘All right,” he announced. “Go in and tie the score.” McGregor entered the game and fumbled on the very first play, where- upon an opponent scooped up the ball and ran seventy-eight yards for what proved to be the deciding touchdown. “My hunch was wrong,” remarked the lad as he returned to the bench. Parke Cummings. AFTER TREATMENT tell-tale finger- my fingerprints comicbooks.com