Life — October 14, 1926 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

£e Today as in 1856 The World's Finest Pipe Obrainable in America only at the more exclu- sive clubs and the better hotels and tobacconists. Featured, among other places, at The Blackitone-Chicage The Brook-Cadillac-‘ William Penn The Roosewelt-New York LOEWE af the Haymarket, London SIT NOW For Your Christmas Photographs In October we can render far better service than during the Christmas rush. We can accommodate you in every way possible, —hold the pictures for delivery until the week before Christmas and generally be of greater sat- isfaction than if you “put it off until the last minute.” Pachrach PHOTOGRAPHS OF DISTINCTION 607 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK Brief History of an Eccentric | [VE always abhorred keeping time with the others | And marching the goose-step like any staid ox; | I resolved to reveal to my custom-bound brothers That I was no part of their herds and their flocks, Deserting the world and its philistine wrangles, I hastened to Greenwich and started to paint Weird paintings of nothing but squares, arcs, and angles— Whoever regarded them fell in a faint. ne But soon (in a month) I became all the rage; I Had ardent disciples in every known spot; A roar of applause from the critical Magi Made all my displays sell like cakes that are hot. Enraged at this popular, base acclamation, I threw up my brush with a savage grimace And turned to write poems without punctuation— Well, some punctuation: but not in its place! Unbounded my horror, chagrin, and amazement To find countless people who loved the queer verse; I wondered just what this incredible praise meant, But no one could tell me. And how I did curse! For now something new must be found to upset them, A startling creation that no person has Yet dreamed of; it neither shall charm them nor “ge them: And so I composed a concerto in jazz. My serious jazz has been greeted with rapture, ks of sculpture are aped and adinired; The novel caprices I've struggled to capture Have all been in vain. But I’m just as inspired As ever I was: I've renounced all abnormal And flaming insurgence, all radical cheek; I'm drifting in currents conventional, formal— It's the only sure way now of being unique! Simonetia. A Grievance in Wax T was the old wax show-window model who was spcak- ing so indignantly. “Yes,” she continued, “there was a time when a wax show-window model could preserve her modesty and self-respect. But now, NOW, we arc expected to display hosiery as well as gowns, and in ny new sitting posture IT give you my word my way leg goes almost up to my—forgive me—knee before ny iron begins. And, my dear, did you notice my neck? In my young days, such a shockingly low-cut’ gown as [ain now wearing, if hung upon my frame, would have shown at least five inches of mere supporting iron where my chest should have been. In plain terms, I stopped at my neck, as a modest model should. Worst of all, they have changed my face; carmined my lips, penciled my brows and lashes, and given to my eyes with their lids half-closed a sidelong, sophisticated glance which is un- mistakab'e in its horrid nificance. As for that window-dresser, with his insinuating slippered feet and familiar ways, I loathe him! He draws the window shades—the coward !—and takes the most dreadful lib- erties with me, even to changing my hosiery! The brute!” AH. F. A Little Premature LACK: 1 saw a very unusual sight to-day—a girl who wasn’t wearing a short skirt. Jack: Great Scott! Surely they haven’t begun lcav- ing them off altogether? comicbooks.com