Life — October 14, 1926 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ld “One Minute to Play” From a Club Chair SHOULD like to know how many winners of beauty contests return from Atlantic City to find that other girls have acquired their best beaux during their absence. _* * Even after our supply of erude oil has been completely exhausted, sales- men will find plenty of customers for stock in oil companies. *“* # As a mental exercise, every time I sce Mussolini's name in print, I try to recall the name of the King of Italy. So far, T haven't quite made the grade. ** Everything would be so much sim- pler for our great athletes if only there were accurate data showin whether there is more money in be- ing an amateur or a professional. se # In another month or so the crimi- nals sentenced to twenty years’ im- prisonment during last spring’s anti- crime crusade will be eligible for parole, J. K.M. “Healthy Vulgarity” UBLISHER: We couldn't pub- lish this—it would be barred from the mails, Why don’t you make a play of it? Nubbville Spark THE LOCAL FOOTBALL ELE GOT BEAT SATURDAY ONLY BE- CAUSE IVANHOR RUGGL our LUMINOUS QUARTERBACK, STOPPED AFTER A THIRTY-YARD RUN TO LET A STRANGER GET A proTocrapi or min! Nes. Reps Diary Sept. Lay late, thinking about 22nd myself, and recalling how Ned Marsh once told me that when I did reach the sixty I should either be a perfect wonder or utterly impossible, did do a bit of deep introspection as to whether or not my temperament bs getting out of hand as the years go along, and decided that Iain still safe, and show no signs of personal cecentricity beyond stuffing more ar- ticles into my pocketbooks than they were fashioned to endure, but I do not think there is danger of my get- ting to be like old Mrs. Whipple, who will go nowhere without a bottle of whisky, a bottle of gin and a bottle of chloroform, none of which, according to her maid, does she ever touch. This morning, to my great distress, I did find that the ian who draws Little Orphan Annie, my favorite cartoon series, has allowed the child to become paralyzed from a fall, and I should have wrote him a letter of protest straightway had there not been need of invoicing my linen closet....With Marge Booth- by, who is stopping with me during u's absence, to a great luncheon of our sex at Lucy Riordan’s, where was much chatter of this and that happening of the summer, and Ann Wendell did tell how, waking at six one morning at Brion that her daughter was not yet in, she had chanced to go out upon the bal- cony and to see the child crawling into the hotel through a window. And Kitty Fairbanks did tell us how, when her husband did show two fine pieces of panel decoration which he had picked up in rope for the house which he is building for a new Pittsburgh plutocrat, the latter's wife did remark, I don't think we need those—me and Minnie both paints. e all did vote, too, after some re- tion, as to what one article we should try to save in escaping from a fire, and T decided upon my toilet tweezers as my most valuable and irreplaceable possession, albeit when our house was aflame several years ago, I did snatch up a_ statue of Venus for which I had laid out less than three dollars To the play- house this night to see “What Every Woman Knows,” in which Helen (Continued on page 32) nd realizing comicbooks.com