Life — October 14, 1926 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Young Son (to shoe clerk waiting upon his fastidious mother): No vse SHOWING HER THE FIRST TEN PAIRS—SHE WON'T TAKE EM. How to Tell a Man from a Deer VERY autumn a_ considerable number of important persons are killed or wounded by hunters who mistake them for deer. In the hope of preventing such tragedies the following simple rules have been prepared: The first thing to do when you see a deer is to notice the manner in which it is stand- ing, walking or running. This is very important. If the deer is walking on its hind feet, for instance, with its forelegs swinging in the air, don’t shoot. It may be just a friendly brown bear, or a valuable orang-outang escaped from the zoo. If, on the other hand, the animal appears to be walking on four legs, don’t jump at conclusions. Human beings frequently get down on all fours and crawl through the brush. Don’t be deceived by a white tail—it is more than likely to be a handkerchief hanging from a hip pocket. Observe the head carefully. What appears to be branching antlers may be only the twigs of a dead birch tree. Hold your breath and see if you can make out all six of the following distinguishing features: A glossy brown coat. Four long slim legs. 8. Horns. At the Perfume Counter Mae: sue TOLD ME THAT CREAM WAS $4.85 A JAR. CAN Y’ IMAGINE? 80 1 SAYS TO HER, “WELL, SISTER,” 1 says, “you caAN keep THAT SCHOOLGIRL COM- PLEXION !” 4, A white tail about cight inches long. 5. Large rounded ears placed on top of head. : 6. A pointed nose with black tip, If you can't see any of thes points. it is probably not a deer, but don't take anything for granted. Decr are clever creatures, and this one inay be trying to deceive you. ° If the animal should move sud. denly into full view and you sve that it looks exactly like a cow, horse, pig or sheep, take careful sin and shoot three or four times as y tpidly as possible. This is excellent prac tice and it may be your only to get meat for camp. If, however, you are c that the animal actually t, do not open fire until you have asked yourself the following questions: 1, Is it carrying a rifle? 2. Is it smoking a pipe or rette? 3. Is it trousers ? 4. Does it answer when you speak to it? If you make these simple tests you can’t go wrong. Remember that it is just as reprehensible to 1 a deer for a man as it is to mistake a man for a deer. Last fall, in New York State alone, no less than six perfectly innocent deer were shot down by careless hunters who mis- took them for officers of the Anti-Saloon League. Edwin O. Perrin. chance vineed ciga- wearing corduroy Two Humorists Talk Shop “QAY, Dutch, you're elor, aren't you “Yes. What of it?” t a corking ides fora » bach- What's the matter with Nothing. Why?” “You'd use it yourself if it was any good.” 's good, but I don’t dare ry off the hot stuff, too.” “You don’t get me. It's about a stenographer, sev? If I used it my wife would want to know where I got the idea.” “Where did you?” “From a stenographer.” Bill Sykes. comicbooks.com