Life, 1926-10-07 · page 13 of 44
Life — October 7, 1926 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces: 1. **"Vanished Americans"**: Shows a well-dressed man examining cigar ashes with a magnifying glass—a Sherlock Holmes parody. The joke mocks detectives' obsessive analysis of trivial evidence. 2. **"When Football Was Overemphasized"**: Critiques college athletics, showing a coach demanding athletes stop smoking and study instead. It satirizes how universities prioritized sports over academics. 3. **"In 1928"**: A farmer celebrates McKinley's (Republican) election victory, expecting prosperity. This references the 1928 presidential election and pre-Depression optimism, with ironic timing given the 1929 crash's imminence. The right column features a gossipy letter mocking young women's fashion, slang, and behavior—typical Life magazine social commentary targeting frivolous modern youth culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Vanished Americans The Cotillion Leader THE Glass OF PASITION AND THE MOLD OF rors, WET OW GRACEFUL STEP TIE TROD THE MAZY GERMAN; YET HE WHO TOOK THE SOCIAL WoRLD BY eM IS NOW FoRGOT As YESTER = SUNDAY'S seamon! Life A Study in Ashes “QHERLOCK,” said Mrs. Holmes, “I've told you for the last time! Get the broom and sweep up those cigar ashes!” The great detective took his magnifying glass from his pocket and, getting upon his knees with an agility that must have aston- ished her, e: “Tut, tut, my dear told her, rising to his “Surely you have read my mono- graph on the identific: tobacco ash, These are ashes! Sweep them up yourself!” PLS. P. When Football Was Overemphasized (From “The University Courier,” 1896.) OACH (to college athlete): Your muscles seem to be flabby, and your whole system needs toning Are you drink- i thin; Not a drop. : Then you must be smoking too much. Aturete: No; don’t smoke at all. Coacn: Studying? ATHLET: yes—a little. Coacu (indignantly): You've got to stop that. Do you want to lose the game? In 1928 JL arper: Wait until T stop at a shoe-shine stand and have my knees powdered. NLEY’S ELECTED, TIIE REPUBLICAN PARTY IS IN AGAIN! NOW WE'LL ALL BE RICH! mornin n I FOUND this per- feetly tAMING old plush ALbum effect which I mean is the most KILLing thing you've ever SEEN because it's simply CRAMMED with the most POISONous-looking pictu like NOTHing HUMAN, mean they ACtually DO! -I mean will you PL E gaze upon THIS, my dear, which you would think was the ‘Hairy Ape’ from Eugene O'Neill's ‘Outline of HISTORY’ or something except that it’s UN HERbert who has the most FOUL expression I've ever § ‘, my dear, and I mean how could ANY one NE! a man with WHISKers! Well, I mean it makes me simply LIVid when I think that I’m re D to anything in this simply PRICEless collegfioh because I mean it must be the original congress’of FREAKS or something be- cause I mean anybody who looked like these kind of people could have made their FORtune in a side-show or something and I mean I ABsolutely get hysTE my dear, when I THINK of such a positively H age as that because I mean they had the most luGUbri- ous customs and everything—riding MADly around on Bleycles all over the place and wearing SKIRTS miles long that every one T g er, my dear, and STOCKings that kind of I over their fright- ful unMENTIONABL , because I mean of COURSE all the girls wore simply HEAPS of STARCHED underclothes and be- lieved in HEIL and would sim- ply have passed OUT at the thought of drinking a COCKtail or SMOK- Well, I mean I think it's ely miRACulous that any h such perfectly POISON- ous-looking people for ANcestors or something can be a BIT attractive— I mean I ACtually DO!” Lloyd Mayer. After the Hold-Up IRST GUNMAN: That was the asiest job wi pulled. Seconn Gunman: Easy! Why, it was almost a crime to take the moncy. comicbooks.com