Life — September 23, 1926 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“yains—'e’s LISTENIN’ “LISTENIN’ IN WIEA IN Is EAR—WIHATCHER THINK?” —Bulletin (Sydney). Don’t Write—Telegraph Two reporters covering a lonely dis- trict for a Chicago paper—one by day, the other by night—used to play. chess by letter. ‘The day man, when he quit the beat, left a record of his moves for the night scrivener to struggle with. One night, leaving his letter as usual, the day dog was on his way home when he suddenly remembered a move which left him wide open, He at once hopped to the Western Union and sent the fol- lowing wire to his opponen| “IGNORE LETTER CAD —New York Graph Storm Warning! New York Court Calendar—‘Jennie Sunshine cx, Henry Sunshine. Action for divorce."—Buffalo Courier-Express. In the Circus “WIAT DONKEYS WE ane!” “KINDLY SPEAK IN THE SINGULAR.” WELL, WHAT AN ASS YOU AR —Buen Humor (Madrid). “Aut Scissors aut Nullus” If It’s an Ad It's Hell Coxtasetion to the new Code of Journalistic Ethics, from the regulations of the vroof-room of the Seattle Star; “Wherev words’ app it will be set thus: . merican Mercury. ther ‘cuss advertising, ‘damn’ or Thriving Rocrr observed his little brother of a few months and then remarked with a satisfied “Pretty soon his face will be big enough to slap. Tue opinion in boxing circles with re- -d to Wills’s offer to fight Dempsey at y street corner for nothing is that he a fellow of no refinement.—Punch, Tur Tovaist: What a magnificent sun- set! One could spend the night looking at it. —Le Rire (Paris). “TIE MAN WITH A LOAD OF MISCTUIEF —London Opinion, My Personal Puppety I novent quite recently a chow, Who bites my bedroom shoes; And though a chow it's true T chose, The chow it is who chews! —Bystander (London). Hardly Fair Finst Frareen: Isn't that your boy talking to the girl in the Russian boots? Secoxp Dirro: Yes, I've taught him everything he knows, and this is the way he treats me. —Smith’s Weekly (Sydney). Big Opening “Wary doesn’t somebody Great American Novel “What's the hurry?” “We need it for the Movie.” write the it Amezican —Louisville Courier-Journal. “John Barnett is again able to be out after his horse trade and says he would like to trade again."—Ripley (W. Va.) Mountaineer. Wuar's the story, John? What's the story?—Detroit Free Press. Eulogy I avstire people who can fix things. Give them a screw driver and_ they're happy for the day; , A busted washing machi aturely aged lawn mower of the days of real sport, ys saying: ute and T'll fix it for you" minute” in a fig And diagnosing their ailments by the sound, Or being daredevils with electric light sockets. Their idea of a joke is to holler— At me, usually— “Get away from that hose nozzle; what do you know About machiner: ‘The clever rascals! If I ever, God forbid, take anything apart, It stays apart. Man and boy, I have seen a good deal, But [ wouldn't know a cam if [ found it In the soup; And as for differentials— didn't have them when T went to school. Once I put a washer on a faucet— ‘The operation was a success, But the patient died. You take a man with the mechanical gift, You take a man who knows the wild gadgets, Who fixes watches, And doorknobs, And magnetos, and everything, You take a man like that, And see if I care. I admire people who can fix t hey can have my part of the —S. K., in Spokane Spokesmai Lady: writ, axp now's Business? Beggar: on, aw NOT A DAY GoEs BY! DON’T HAVE TO BEG OVERTIME, —Kasper (Stockholm). comicbooks.com