Life — August 26, 1926 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Thanks for the Buggy Ride"’ French as She Is Now Spoken WING to the present situation in O French langu: undergoing changes more rapidly than you would expect. Therefore the »wing (mercifully) short lesson will perhaps be of service to visiting Americans, Q. O14 - sil vous plait? (Hey, Jack, how do I get to 2 al. Sale cochon d’Américain, fiche moi la pair. (You big American bum, go take a jump in the Seine.) Q. Combien? (How much?) A. Huit millions de francs. (Eight million frances.) Q. C'est trop cher. (Am I a sap?) A. Misérable voleur, chien d'usurier! (Yes, you frowsy bandit.) 9 pitalistic bloodsucker !) -! Gobeur des impéts! misérable caricature d'une vache aur lunettes d’écaille! (Various kinds of a piv-faced mutt.) Q A. Conspue les Américain A bas les Amé Les Américains valent rien! Que tous les Américains tombent (To h— with America and Americans generally.) Q. (The questions don’t matter.) A. Retournez chez vous! Allez vous suffoquer avec vos maudits dollars Américains! Nation de commission- naires de mont-de-piété! Animaur! In- sectes! Poissons! Apaches! Voyour! (Get out of here and go choke your- selves with your d. old jack! You dirty bunch of this, that and the other, mostly this!) Sacre ? ains! morts! in (For the second lesson, just start again at the top.) Henry William Hanemann, HEY say of me, and so they should, Neither Bloody Nor Bowed It’s doubtful if T come to good. I I sce acquaintances and friends Accumulating dividends, And making enviable names In science, art, and parlor games. But I, despite expert advice Keep doing things I think are nice, And though to good I er come- Inseparable my nose and thumb! Dorothy Parker. “BESS THINKS BACHELORS SHOULD BE TAXED FIFTY PER CENT. “Honesty i OP THEIR INCOME! “YES—AND SHE'S THE GIRL WHO CAN Do IT.” comicbooks.com