Life, 1926-08-26 · page 15 of 41
Life — August 26, 1926 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: 1. **"Unique"** (Simonetta): A poem mocking a particular man who strips maps and doesn't employ typical barber-shop tactics or excessive salesmanship—apparently praising restraint in service. 2. **"Solved at Last!"**: A cartoon about an economist pacing his apartment, obsessing over "the problem of the world." He eventually solves it by walking to his barber shop, where the solution apparently materializes. The satire mocks economists' grandiose pretensions and the absurdity of finding solutions in mundane places. 3. **"Fable of the Profiteer's Luck"**: Text describing mob capture of a profiteer destined for execution. A financial committee debates costs; the rope-makers demand higher wages, and rope prices become prohibitive—so execution is indefinitely delayed. This satirizes how capitalism and labor disputes can absurdly thwart even extreme penalties.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Unique HE man that strips my price- T less map Of stubbly growth when I arise Is not at all the sort of sap That you despise. He docs not thrust the lather in My mouth and then inquire if I Think Battling So-and-so will win; He does not try To cut me, nor endeavor to Assure I'm getting thin on top; He docs not ask: “Massage? sham- poo? Mud-pack? hair-crop?” And, best, he never waits with sleek Servility for surplus pelf.... Fond reader, you've not far to seek: I shave myself. Simonetta. Solved at Last! THE great economist paced slowly to and fro in his luxurious apart- ment. “The problem of the world,” he muttered. “How shall I solve’ it?” Then, finding no solution, he re- versed himself and paced fro and to. But he arrived nowhere. Flinging himself down at his huge desk in despair, he cried, “I must solve it! Somewhere—somehow—t he re is a way to salvage that last half-inch!” He pulled himself together and walked to the window. Holding himself erect, he peered into space and the barber shop across the street. Then suddenly he swung around and faced him- self, “Thave it!” he shouted exuber- antly. “We can make the ciga- rettes. half an inch shorter!” a A. F. Byers. HE “yes"- Manisun- Popular, but the fellows never ob- ject to the “yes"- girl. Voice from the Megaphone: wey! Wave YE GOT ROOM FOR SIX ON Nubbville Spark A TRAMP STOPPED AT TUG HARDY’S PLACE YESTERDAY AN’ ASKED FOR SOME CLOTHES. ALL TUG COULD SPARE HIM WAS A NICE COAT HANGER. THAT RAPT? THIS SHIP'S SINKING, Fable of the Profiteer’s Luck HE mob had captured a profiteer at last and decided to hang him on the public recreation ground. A financial committee was appointed which estimated that the entertainment would cost five hundred dollars, so this amount was dubscribed, and the hanging was announced for the first of the month. But timber and building material rose; the committee announced that the job couldn’t be done for five hundred dollars, and made another call. The carpenters, observing the anxiety to hang the profiteer, demanded higher wages. The rope-makers followed suit, and the price of rope became prohibitive. Another mass meeting was called, and it was stated that the profiteer could not be hanged for less than ten thousand dollars, The meeting decided that he wasn’t worth it. P. B. Prior. MAN in Paris started out recently with a hammer to smash monuments, There’s one European this country needs. comicbooks.com