Life, 1926-08-26 · page 12 of 41
Life — August 26, 1926 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical commentary on marriage and social attitudes. The main piece, attributed to Lloyd Mayer, is a woman's complaint about her friend's husband—describing him as "poisonous," working in a "punk factory," living in a revolting apartment, and being the "most obnoxious" person she's encountered. The satire targets how women of this era were expected to accept or defend their friends' poor marital choices without complaint. The bottom includes brief humorous definitions ("Novitiate," "Marriage") and a cartoon showing insects fishing, with a caption from "Isaac Walton Longlegs" making a crude joke comparing fishing prowess to masculine appeal. The overall tone mocks social conventions around marriage and courtship among the educated classes.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Life « ELL, my dear, you'd ACTUALLY never KNOW her since she’s been married to that POISONOUS man she met that FEARFUL summer we were all down at Southampton, my dear, and they've got the most REVOLTING brat you've ever seen, I mean he’s actually the WORST-looking baby I ever SAW, my dear—all sort of reddish-looking, my dear, and NO hair—HONESTLY, my dear, CAN you BEAR it? And my dear, he’s working in a PUNK factory or something frightful like that—heavens, NO, my dear—NOT the baby, I mean her HUSBAND, of course, and they've absolutely NO money, my dear, and NOBODY knows HOW they exist because I mean they live in this simply TINY apartment up about SEVENTEEN flights or something and you smell GARLIC, my dear, all the way up, and it’s HONESTLY : the most OBNOXIOUS place you've ever seen! Well, I’ve always LIKED her, my dear, and just because she’s poor now I mean I CAN'T drop her, sort of, be- cause I mean I REALLY feel most FRIGHTFULLY sorry for her, my dear, and even if she HAS made a terrible MISTAKE, I mean I don’t think it’s any reason why her friends should drop her, my dear, though of course you simply CAN'T ask her anywhere because she al- ways wants to bring that POISON- OUS baby, my dear, and I ACTU- ALLY can’t understand why she doesn’t want to get AWAY from it because I mean I HONESTLY think it’s the MOST revolting brat I've ever seen!” Lloyd Mayer. Novitiate “ys Boggins considered a careful driver?” “Not yet; he hasn’t had his first accident.”” iY ARRIAGE is the welding of two mettles without removing the temper. The Prologue Idea Hits the Hospitals 1 CHORUS of doctors and nurses sings “The Lilies * Are Waiting for You.” 2. The patient, the chief surgeon and the head nurse favor with some selections on the Swiss bells; then go into their dance, 3. Tabloid musical comedy, “The Yankee Tonsil,” by the entire hospital staff. 4. A few minutes of fire-eating, sword-swallowing and card tricks by the anesthetician. 5. The patient and chorus of nurses do a song- number, “The Girls of My Ether Dreams.” 6. A St. Louis hop contest for internes and under graduate nurses. 7. A song by the patient’s wife, “Mamma’s Gonna Have a Brand-New Papa Soon.” Then the operation may begin. Robert Lord. I Don’t Care ! L°rs of people begin to feel sad when the fall comes, Just think: all those pretty leaves falling off the trees (or at any rate, maintaining a very precarious bal- ance); all the nice warm summer days gone until next year; winter stretching out an icy hand and seizing the faded flowers in his grip; Jack Frost polishing up his stencils preparatory to another season of delicate tracery on the windows of our houses....And King Snow about to cover the brown dead hills with his ivory mantle....I can’t blame people for feeling a little bit depressed. But I just don’t care! I’m a_ nose-and-throat specialist. NLR. J. Isaak Walton Longlegs: nun! 1 TELL YOU, BOYS—THESE LEGS OF MINE ARE NOT MUCH FOR LOOKS BUT WHEN IT COMES TO FISHING THEY BEAT YOUR PESKY FISH-POLES ALL HOLLER! comicbooks.com