Life — July 15, 1926 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“po YOU SUPPOSE SHE REALLY SHOT ALL 71 ANIMALS?” “wity Norv? UNLESS THE POOR TILINGS DIED OF FRIGHT BEFORE SHE MAD A CHANCE!” A Story with a Moral “CUPID” DEMPSEY loved a girl in our town, but Cupid could never get up enough courage to pro- pose to her. She was so sweet, so simple, so fragile. Suggesting marriage to her seemed almost indecent. Cupid went away. Another chap, one of these “live- your-own-life-and-damn-the-family” fellows, came to town, grabbed the girl by her hair, which was then long, and dragged her to the altar. When Cupid came back to the place for a visit, he called on the girl, She had become “modernized.” She swore like a truck-driver; smoked like a cranky oil-stove; drank everything but the family liniment, and had as much personal modesty as a chorus girl. nd the moral of this story is: Faint Heart Ne’er Won Pair Lady. But You Never Know Your Luck. Ready for Occupancy HLOE: Have you got most of the furniture for your apartment yet? Zor: Yes, indeed—the cocktail shaker, the ice chest and the still arrived this afternoon, so we're all ready to move in, June Lydia Loomis, who has been stopping with us 22nd 0 her way to the boat races, off this morning, and as Sam carried one of her bags to the door, he did exclaim, finding it of considerable weight, How we are going to miss Lydia—and perhaps some of the best silver service! To sce Marge Boothby, who does tell me that at last, after having expended almost a thousand dollars in experimentation, she has found a pair of stays which may possibly prove to her liki when old Nannie, who hath been her servant since hood, came into the room, I did remark, Well, Nannie, I hear that we've got Miss Marjorie into corsets at last! Whereto Nannie did respond, Yes, Mistress Pey worn them two weeks now, and has come home with them in a parcel only once. As agog over lunching off trays in Marge’s room as if we were both in boarding school again, and she did tell me how her new waitress, having heard of the first guests for dinner, had asked for time off in the afternoon to have her hair waved and her nails done so that her appearance would do her employer cred- it, nor could I find in my heart anything but commendation for such a spirit, having strug- gled in the past with several handmaidens JAAR who would not even use a sufficient number of hairpins to do me honor and whose col- lars and cuffs looked as if they had been een, attached in a state of inebriety. Home be- times, finding there a Tue WrRist-wATCH CRYSTAL letter demanding to cyLINDeR. witeN you BREAK know if I would be in- a crystat RAND terested in a twin- 2D AUTO" screw yacht one hun- dred and twenty-five feet long and requiring a crew of from sixtcen to twenty- two men to keep it in commission, and the compliment did so set me up that I did telephone straightway for alligator pears to be added to our dinner and did array myself for going to the play in the new burgund. silver chiffon which I have been saving a Harcross’s dance. Later to sce the Theatre Guild piece, “At Mrs. Beam’s,” highly diverting, Miss Jean Cadell MATICALLY. (Continued on page 28) comicbooks.com