Life — July 1, 1926 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“STEP RIGHT UP AND LOOK AT THR SWELLEST PIECE OF REAL ESTATE IN THE COUNTY.” off Tripp when he tries to ride down women and children.” The cortége, once under way, was imposing. Its first item, of course, was that old stand-by, “The Spirit of '76,” the trio of ragged Conti- nentals with fife, drum and_ flag, artfully presented by Doc Pettner, Tom Brigham and Ralph Coit. The Doe gave us all heart di by be- ing late. Mrs. Vetch had a bad tooth, an emergency call, and our al oral-surgeon rushed into the cavity, so to speak, armed with flag and forceps. fhe worst ulceration I he panted. “Where's ever my vith a ruffle of drums we were off. Following the “Spirit of '76” came our police, all ten, headed by Chief Royce in the uniform of a Ritz Admiral, and trailed by two wabbling motor cops whose presence caused a protest by Pritchett. Who's going to collect speed ?” he demanded. “Shut up!” bawled the Grand Marshal, curvetting into a hydrant, “In line, everybody. Forward, march!” Oh, and I almost forgot—right among the big policemen, who was there but that cunning little “Tad” Brigham, only seven, and dressed up just like a real policeman! He was too cute, and awfully sick that night. But on with the parade. After the cops came the Boy and Girl Scouts, trying to keep time both to their own drum-corps and the Fort Willis Band, and doing it, too; fin Life then some hard-boiled Regulars whose only pleasure was in keeping an unbroken line which forced the Grand Mar- shal and horse to the sidewalk. But the greatest en- thusiasm greeted the suc- ceeding units, the Coun- try Club, Pres. Libby in the lead, and the Village League, Jim O'Rourke, M. P. (master-plumber), in command. We had thought of trying out— or on—our Home Guard uniforms but it couldn't be done. No girth con- trol. A lovely feature was the float at the end of the line, “America” (Hattie Farwell), surrounded by her handmaidens, ‘Justice’ (Mrs. Be- mis, who refused to be blindfolded and miss all the fun), “Learning” (Miss Flamm), “Agriculture” (Miss Libby), and “Manufacturing” (Mrs. O'Rourke, holding one of Jim's pipe- wrenches—just to be fair to the Village League). The float was mounted on a long- bodied truck with America’s throne in the stern, where the motion was really—well, Hattie was quite pale and hurried into the Village Hall when we got back there for the noon event, a reading of the Declaration by Congressman Budlong, substitut- ing for Secretary Hughes and Vice- President Dawes, both of whom wired regrets. We reconvened at three p. M. on the fourth or water-hole of the golf course, which Wallace had selected e stage for the pageant. idea,” he explained, ‘is to ss the events leading up to the Declaration, give them contin- uity. We will show the Boston Tea Party, Paul Revere’s Ride,the gallant stand of the Minute Men at Lexing- ton and, finally, Washington taking command of the Continental Army. Some program, what? The Boy Scouts were drafted by lot into the opposing armies, Bert Hoofner agreeably acting as Commander of the mercenaries. Among those pres- ent at the waterside were Gen. On- derdonck-Washington, Ethan Allen, Isracl Putnam, Lafayette, and Ro- chambeau, while a convenient sand- pit screened Generals Gage, Bur- goyne and Howe with their das- tardly hirelings. Tan-ta-ra! A bugle blast, and the action was on. Out from the bank crept the scow used to retrieve “floaters,” laden with ginger ale cases full of tea, which the patriots, dis- guised as Indians, dumped overboard with bloodcurdling yells. “Ding, dong!” rang the bell on the third green. “One if by land, and two if by sea.” “Paul Revere!" shouted the prompter. Round the pond rode the intrepid Tripp, leaving hoof- marks on the fourth green that will never get well. “Awake!” he cried. “Awake! The British have crossed the Charles! Washington is crossing the Dela- ware! To arms, to arms!” Answering this appeal, soldiery swarmed on both sides of the pond, Headed by Gen. Hoofner-Gage and stung by the ignominy of their role, the Hessians mixed it up so thor- oughly that for a time it looked as if History would have to be re- vamped, but the enemy was finally induced to retire in bad order and Gen. Washington advanced to as- sume command of the first Army. It was at this moment that occurred the rather nasty contretemps to which I have referred. Across the road from the fourth green is a tract known as Maple Terraces, Inc., the enterprising own- ers of which had used the pageant as a lure for a land sale. Just as the Father of His Country raised his sword in fealty to the new-born (Continued on page 36) WHERE'S MY FLAG?” “TUF WORST ULCERATION 1 EVER SAW. 7 comicbooks.com