Life, 1926-05-20 · page 14 of 44
Life — May 20, 1926 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces about entertainment and society: **"On Hirsute Flawlessness"** critiques Hollywood's unrealistic standards, specifically mocking actors who never appear with disheveled hair despite their characters' supposed circumstances. The poem questions how screen performers maintain perfect grooming even in dramatic scenes. **"The Young Pretender"** cartoon depicts a mother boasting about her son marrying into wealth (Mary Pickford/Douglas Fairbanks), revealing social climbing ambitions among the middle class. **"The Straw"** and **"Penalty of Insignificance"** appear to be brief satirical dialogues about crime/justice and committee work, mocking bureaucratic absurdity and people who perform tasks without recognition. The overall theme critiques Hollywood vanity, social pretension, and institutional indifference—typical Life magazine satire of early 20th-century American society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
On Hirsute Flawlessness MUCH admire the realistic touches | As practiced by the more efficient men In all the better moving pictures, such as “A Woman of Paris,” “Greec Again.” I yield applause in honor to each actor ‘And actress who performs with truth and care; But here is an objectionable factor: How is it that they never muss their hair? The screen flickers. A lady wakes from slumber, Dismal and unappealing is her room; I note delightedly the lavish number ts quite veracious in their gloom. own has a torn and trailing border; She yawns e has a most untidy air; And yet her tresses are in perfect order! How is it that they never muss their hair? Regard this » You've really got to doff uu to him for keeping so intact slory of his scintillating coiffure In spite of all the villains he has whacked. Long and unceasingly the man has scuffed, Bitter and fierce has been his eyes’ wild glare, But still his head is utterly unrufiled THE YOUNG PRETENDER How is it that they never muss their hair? “MOTHER, WHEN 1 GROW UP I'M GOING TO MARRY MARY PICKFORD.” Simonetta, “WUT SHE'S ALREADY MARRIED TO DOUGLAS FAIRBANK “OM—THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 1 CAN GET RID OF HIM! The Straw “THE jury has found you guilty of murder in the first degre pro- nounced the Judge, grimly. “The pen- alty is death!" The coldest-blooded murderer of mod- ern times wilted not a wilt “But because of your aged mother,” Justice droned on, “Tam commuting your sentence to life imprisonment at hard labor.” The prisoner moved not a muscle, Not the slightest show of emotior “During which you are specifically for hidden to write for the confessional mag azines!” Uttering a piteous cry for mercy, the doomed man collapsed. Ray WW. Frohman, *3 . : het Penalty of Insignificance Ga he | MARSH: Here's one name on the SONS A A EI servant} committee that I never heard of. THE GRADUATING CLASS OF ASSISTANT DIRECTORS SPELL THE NAME OF THEIR Wesster: Oh, that’s probably the per- COLLEGE son who actually does the work comicbooks.com