Life — April 29, 1926 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Physical Culturist RED EVERY The Flapper THE SECRET OF NIGHT KEEPING MY AT NINE THEN WHY DO YOU pe ead | YOUTH 18 THIS—1 AM IN o'clock WANT TO KEEP IT? In a great wax this morning April 6th mons when the first post arrived for it did contain a sum- from the income tax bureau to appear on such and such a date to ex- plain concert my report for two years back, which God knows was hon estly made and simple enough for the merest clerk to comprehend, and why the government should add the insult of such inconvenience to the injury oi overtaxing us I do not see, and I should he for pay ¢ bureau no heed what soever were in such terror of those stamped purple hands pointing statements that the penalty: for ignor ing this notice will be a fine of fifty dollars or a commensurate jail sentence or was | heartened much, neither by a letter m Aunt Caroline asking Times why me to clip t of the for her so that she might learn bought this and that at the Hunti sale, but being fearful o than | and searched through the more nof the law, I did set fe tedious business, il T found her quirements. Then to buy me a hat an antidote to so much gloom, and, finding exactly what I did want, was forced to content myself with a lig blue felt, smart enough, and possessed of a wider an has been on sale for several s ...For tea at the Janneys’, and, it being Nip's birthday, I did stop ata at the man had nought but s I told Nip sod fortune, forasmuch flor et him a garden white carnations, which later, was my § as a gardenia would have cost at Te a dollar and a half, and I did lay out but fifteen cents for the pink. Much amongst which T did hear how THE JUDGE GIMME NINETY DAYS AT HARD LABOR—AN’ ME A LABOR LEADER! 4 Made of our acquaintance, taking home a benedick friend after a two-days’ spree on the latter's part, had heen ¢ ated the house first in order to ins had been f through igate propitiations, and t over the head with a goli and the hos stick mistaken identity dering such April 7th astrich pl my existence long pointed fingernails, es and windows open from the top, and setting against them such Uclightiul things as fresh writing pads patriotic 1 maidenhair fer tunes , til the goc the world scemed suffi ciently to outweigh the bad Pondered, oo, the € ence of 1 te tend. cney to propitiate the gods, having come of late t that fine indifference to fate attracts more good tune than ts careful soliciting, and b certain that a ram in the pantry, figuratively, is worth two o: up and off to lunchec Bacon, and she tells me that. sim las tenanted a ground-floc she might as well be condu artment a free publick, and has almost determined have a turnstile put up in fr her into which each applicant for en Mar be trance must drop at least a ¢ f her telephone and © can pass, r bills having increased so pri ly since she gave up her old apartment that nothing short of a bene fit performance at Tex Rickard’s new n make her a k. But T saw ne th the I indicate and T did cat f the bailiff more of the pilaff than was good weak and glutton fam....T about the social side of diplomatic life s zany that is night [did read in a book how royalty initiates all topics of con and suffers no contradiction, versation and it did remind me of Sam's story of the king who, when an opponent at bi said, 1 shall bid one vill de bid four tut Lord! work even at courts heart, retorted, spades, and 1. shall nothing ¢ you wi double the law of compensation does and what vty can accept no presents, like opening of vould life be withe the oce 1 unexpected Baird Leonard. package comicbooks.com;