Life — April 15, 1926 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NOW, JUST ANOTHER DAB BEHIND YOUR EAR.” Nee Lops Diaryr March The telephone a-ringing early, and it was Edith Banning 22n at they had been given a present of some wild duck and would we come for dinner and help saying t consume them, and I was sorry to re- fuse her, because I knew the despera- tion of her plight. The great evil of duck-shooting, methinks, is that its fol- lowers feel they must dispense their quarry amongst. their friends, often without bothering to remove the feath- ers, too, for never in my life have I received a present of any game soever when it was entirely convenient to cook and dispatch it. Better two pounds of Hamburg steak summoned hastily from the butcher than a haunch of venison hanging high through the misdirected generosity of an absent Nimrod, T am minded in this connection of Abe Mar- tin’s saying, The folks that go on fishin’ trips these days don't need 'em. To luncheon with Ann Andrews at a public, where I ate a fine ragout and drank a beaker of ale, God help me, and then along Madison Avenue, reflecting Phar- isaically how much better our own old silver is than any I saw in the windows, albeit I saw two pepper shakers which I coveted, but did not price for fear of becoming low-spirited. Nor did I stop at any crony’s house to gossip, as I felt inclined to do, this being the season when I do suffer from the de- lusion of many of my friends that an open fireplace is an all-year-round prop- ion, for I have no mind to swelter within when the air is so pleasant with- out. Some goldfish I saw in a window did recall the days when I had three named Acker, Merrall and Condit, and how, Condit having to be replaced so frequently because of suicide, I did finally stop at a pair and change their names to Park and Tilford. March * 8f¥ drizzly day, the kind 2rd to be spent in buying brave n or choosing cheerful chintzes for the redoing of new raimer one’s bedroom, so off early to the shops, and discovering in the cab that my purse contained nought save a ten-dollar sold piece, I did order the driver to stop at a bank, which I entered with some misgivings, feeling always when I am stranded with such a medium of cur- rency that it may be counterfeit, and I find myself in the clutches of the aw for innocently attempting to defraud. But I did fa y as I could, and was so greatly relieved ¢ the teller as nonchala: when he did not bite the coin or ring it upon his desk to test it, that I made off with my change with a gay sense of having actually cheated him. I did weary of my expedition before going many squares, however, the streets be- ing unduly slippery and the chauffeur as rec 1 s to live. Nor uraged, neither, by the num- nbula less as though his chirurgeon hi given him but a few he was Te ber of 3 s which kept clanging their courses through the traffic, albeit I bethought me of the indifference which Mistress Lucille Webster told me the natives of Los Angeles feel toward such proceedings, saying, ar not—it is nought but an interne going for another package of cigarettes. So to Marge Boothby’s, with a righteous sense of i hundred dollars by so do- ing, and she told me how Rip Haver ford had safeguarded himself in the transportation of his liquor by address- ing it all to his mother-in-law. She did beg from me, too, against the christen- ing of her infant nephew, the bottle of water which lonel Walker did bring me from the River Jordan, and I did promise it to her on the condition tha z seve she would never wear to our house ag the spangled evening gown which drips beads in such profusion that days elapse before they are all swept up....On the morrow I do go upon my annual Spring diet of milk and vichy, and do strength to hold out agai paragus and soft-shell crabs. Baird Leonard, Heel and Toe AYME: Are you ready for the Charleston Jae (impatiently) > Yes, yes, hurry up! Shake a leg! ee ee comicbooks.com