Life — February 4, 1926 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Brothers-in- Arms oO! in California they have arrested a lieutenant and a sergeant of the regular Army for having a drill, Wait a minute, wait a minute—they also had a jimmy, and an oxyacetylene blowpipe, and so on; and they were ar dark alley behind a bank. Aj this, as any believer in the democratizatic will tell you rested at midnight in a 1 n of military life n, Whatever you is a step in the right dir may think of safe-cracking, everybody will agree that it is a good idea to have more fraternization between commis sioned officers nd the ranks. Whether he wears chevrons an for a’ that when he crouches down in the dark alley to jimmy the door. And this is another blessing we owe to Congress, which has made Army life so intolerable for both officers and men aust be a pleasant. relaxation What does our Army do in peace time? Well, privates seem that col aborative burglary to spend most of their time cutting the grass; lieutenants 1 sergeants a ¢ kept busy filling out papers and blanks and forms, usually in triplicate. And when the papers have been filled out there is ways something to do in the way of vocational training and citizenship and seminars in the nd the staugua work which fills up most of the origins of the late war next Not all of this Ch average officer's waking hours (after he has finished filling out his papers) is prescribed by Congress; but all of it ck to Congress, to officers in the War Department who command the introduction of new cultural courses be gocs | cause they have been asked » it by some panacea sales man who has friends in Congress. Please the pana salesmen, make the Army a sort of Federal Board for V cational Education—anything, in fact, but an army—and the n i them from cutting too many mil- atentees of the millennium y speak a kind word to their ends in Congress and keep lions off the War Department sriation ough on the lieutenant and sergeant who were caught? Well, Congress provides them with a ready defense. Because Cor gress refuses to appropriate money for barracks, much of the Army is living in war-time can: tonments that by now are falling to pieces over the men's heads The lieutenant and the sergeant may offer in defense that they were trying to break into the bank to get warm. What's that? You wonder why they went out to crack a safe ine stead of cracking a Congress- man's head? Ah, but they wanted to crack a container with some- thing in it Elmer Davis. STRANGER (accosting polic n): Say, officer, where- abouts is your padlock district? “LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER TRAPOT.” T is estimated that the total cost of government in this country last’ year was $10,252,000,000—proving again that the American people will pay almost anything for amusement. L Suggested song for a national organization of filling-station proprictors—"Brighten the Corner Where You Are.” iL li Sr. Pavt lived to-day he would be a newspaper man, says Pore Pivs XI. And if he had been a copyreader, the “And now abideth faith, hop ‘Charity T . charity” quotation would be s List of Primary Virtues, headed serts St.” a The Lord's Day Alliance wants padlocks on all houses which engage in commercial ventures on Sunday. Start- ing, obviously, with all churches where the collection plate is passed. JL Eight Boston bootleggers have been found guilty in a Federal court of forming a conspiracy to eliminate com- petition and control prices of beotli have ignored the fact that conspir is against the law, or, They appear to in restraint of trade “An increase in salary or wages,” says the New York Time “js the ambition of every man or woman who works for a living.” Until the Times re yeals the exact source of its in- formation, we advise our read- ers to accept this view with the utmost caution, iL Contrary to the advance notices, the Anti-Saloon League failed to serve bad liquor at its recent New York dinner, Well, any- thing to be different. aL In Peking there has been a meeting of the Commission of Representatives of the World Powers and of China for the Discussion of Extraterritorial- ity, and the suicide rate among headline writers has soared ac- cordingly. aL The celebration of Wasuinc- Tox’s Birthday has been defi- nitely set for February 22. “I am in the pink of condition,” declared Rurekt Hucnes, when interviewed at his training camp. “Tell the American peo- ple that I expect to give a good account of myself.” —_—_—_4= comicbooks.com ia