Life — December 31, 1925 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Reading in the publick December ints how young Mr. 7th Rhinelander, having thor- oughly outraged the community for more than a month, is now to assume a false identity and betake himself to another part of the world, and it did set -thinking of the interesting possi- Lilities in such a proceeding, if uncom- pulsory, and of what might befall me should I dye my hair and go to live on the Riviera under an assumed name, so I did ask my husband, and he let out such guffaws at the mere idea of my attempting to disappear that he was in great good humour when he left for his office. Feeling too languorous to rise betimes, I did fall upon some of the new books which have come in, noting that I do never embark upon a novel now without misgivings as to how far { can go before I strike the word “Sarajevo.” I have been told that my own generation will be paying for the war all the days of its life, so it does indeed seem a pity that we must be iorced to read about it in our fiction... . Weary am I, also, of writers whose sex is so entirely mental that they can speak of nought else, and who, starting out to be wicked, succeed only in being dull....Marge Boothby on the telephone stating with excitement that she had found a new fortune teller, I did rouse myself and make off with her to the seeress, who did tell me that at the age of forty I shall engage in some project which will result in’ great financial profit, and also that in the near future a dark woman will machinate to cause me much unhappiness, but my tem- perament is such, thank God, that I came away confident of all the bright prophecies and incredulous of the bad. Walking through the town in search of a suitable place to lunch, I did marvel at the large number of tea shops which dot our cross streets, but Marge tells me that many elderly women would rather run them than go to Old Ladies’ Homes. December Marge Boothby having stopped with us over 8th night, we all did for- gather in my room for breakfast, and when Sam saw the great boned lamb chop which had been broiled for Marge, she being on a diet again, he must needs order one for himself, and he would « LIFE = have eaten all of her pineapple, too, had I not caught him at it in time. Why is it, I do wonder, that the food which is borne to strangers in restau- rants always looks so much better than what one has ordered for oneseli? Merry chatter of this and that, in especial of the danger of saying to a pleasant new acquaintance, “Come in any time,” forasmuch as the first ac- ceptance is likely to catch one with one’s head in the shampoo bowl. Marge tell- to me like an adopted child. Then we off with Sam to the lower part of the town, Marge being restless about the Riviera, as she always is at this sea- son, and anxious to look over this and that boat. My advice to those who go down to the sea in ships is to choose a vessel which sails at a reasonable hour, preferably 1 a. and which draws up at a dock when it strikes the other side, for never do I want to get on and off a tender again so long as I live, Conductor: HOW OLD 15 THE LITTLE GIRL? The Child: MotTHeER, I'D RATHER PAY FARE AND KEEP MY AGE TO MYSELF. ing, too, how Harvey Ainsworth has bought Emmy for Christmas a jar of bath salts costing seventy-five dollars, and we all agreed that Sam must be ready to defend her for murder before noon of the twenty-fifth, And when we marveled that a great oaf like Bumps Spinney and a namby-pamby creature like his wife should have such a delightful daughter as their Lily is turning out to be, Sam added, She acts albeit at times my desire to get to Europe is so strong that I should al- most be willing to try the entire journey in a tub. Baird Leonard. Not for Him What's that? You say our en- I don't get H : gagement is broken? you. Sune: That's it exactly. comicbooks.com