Life — December 25, 1925 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Vegetable Dinner ‘AS there ever a restaurant bill-of- fare lacking those insidious words, “Vegetable Dinner”? You will find them usually among “Ready Dishes,” with a star to indicate their readiness. “Vegetable Dinner” consists of a large plate, laid out to resemble a patch of dry farm-land. The carrots and the beets are always close enough together to make an interesting color-fight. But there the xsthetic qualities of Vegetable Dinner cease abruptly. There is noth- ing colorful about potatoes, turnips, onions, peas and string beans, partic- ularly after all their individuality has been boiled out of them. Tt seems to be an unwritten law that Vegetable Dinner shall be prepared without salt, pepper, butter, cream, or any other enriching or flavoring factor. Every item appears in the stark nudity of tasteless exhibitionism. If you order Vegetable Dinner “with poached egg,” you get a lump of tepid albumen in the middle of the platter, and this sometimes produces a sluggish stream of trickling yellow, but not enough to moisten its arid surroundings. I have asked many a waiter and waitress if there is ever likely to be a really palatable Vegetable Dinner, but they assure me that it is highly im- probable, implying that Vegetable Din- ner is merely a sorry sop to the vege- tarians. When I get to be a millionaire, I shall build a restaurant to make a spe- cialty of Vegetable Dinner. Its centre will be the heart of an artichoke, Hol- landaise. Grouped around it will be some gracefully reclining stalks of fresh asparagus, butter sauce, with tiny, naive, succulent Brussels sprouts and delicately youthful wax beans, THE LITTLE GIRL WHO GOT EVERYTHING SHE WANTED FOR CHRISTM INCLUD- ING A PAIR OF RUBBER-TIRED, MOTOR- IZED STILTS. similarly anointed. A soupgon of creamed cauliflower may be admitted to this feast of tender innocence, and gently broiled mushrooms will scallop the edges. If potatoes are admitted at all, they will be in dainty brown straws, merely as nestling ground. The price will be sixty-five cents a portion, Sigmund Spaeth. IRST GUNMAN: What d’ye say we go out and rob a cigar store? Seconp GunMAN: No, thanks, I don’t smoke. And That’s That Gos greatest gift to man is the radio. It brings to him at his own fireside the far places of the earth. Without stirring from his armchair he may command the music of noble sym- phony orchestras, the public utterances . of contemporary statesmen, the beat and pulse of jazz, the wisdom of sa- vants, the exhortations of divines (which occasionally, to be sure, do fall somewhat short of divine exhortations), the music of great instrumental soloists, and the laughter of drolls. The radio is God’s greatest giit to man; and I wouldn’t have one of the damn things in the house as a giit.* Baron Ireland. _ *Eprtor’s Note: While this publica- tion believes in the freest expression of opinion, we wish to make clear that it does not necessarily agree with the views expressed by its correspondents. Important Events of 1925 as Reflected by the Newspapers (In the Order of Their Importance’ HE return of Gloria Swanson. The Prince of Wales. The capture of Gerald Chapman. The election of Ma Ferguson, The marriage of Gloria Swanson. Bucky Harris’ permitting Walter Johnson to continue in the World Series. The Florida real-estate boom. The expletives of Gen, Dawes. The publication of the Income Taxes. Valentino’s beard. The formation of the French Cabi- nets (in bulk). The Illness of Gloria Swanson. “The Green Hat.” Bertram Bloch. ROMS CHICKENS, Gesnturres mit, SissiTemiss! -> - THE COMIC STRIP SHAKESPEARE — — — — — THE KATZENJAMMER KIDS IN A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM comicbooks.com