Life — December 3, 1925 — page 74: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Jrom New York Feb. 17.1926 A fascinating Winter Cruise offering an unusu- ally distinctive opportunity to all who intend to visit Mediterranean points, Egypt and the Holy Land next season. Travelling on this great, world-renowned Cunarder, you are assured of the right kind of environment plus the acme of comfort, luxury and service. The Mauretania will call at Madeira, Gibraltar, Algiers, Villefranche (French Riviera), Naples, Athens, Haifa (Holy Land), Alexandria, etc. Many interesting and attractive shore excursions. Round-trip tickets via North Atlantic. Requests for detailed information and lit- erature are cordially ~ ANCHOR“ invited. 25 Broadway, Now York or Branches and Agencies You’d Be Surprised — AN the ever-increasing demand for Me Sarre on a Son aring LIFE’S DOG CALENDAR our annual tribute to the faithful, from Towser to Balto. The 1926 edition (Now on Sale) contains some marvelous color reproductions of the work of such eminent artists and dog lovers as R. L. Dickey, Warren Davis, Will Ran- nells and Cory Kilvert. You will want these dogs to adorn your.walls and keep you cheerful during the coming year. Printed in limited edition, LIFE’S Dog Calendar sold out last year. Order yours NOW. Price, Prepaid, $1.00 LIFE, 598 Madison Avenue, New York Impressions of America (If Visiting Foreigners Talked Like Our Own Returned Tourists) NEW YORK'S a nice town.... You can get some pretty snappy post- cards in the little shops on what they call “the East Side.” Americans are all crazy, though. They're all gyppers over there. Al- ways trying to rook the tourists. I put in a telephone call at a hotel and they charged me ten cents. (That's almost three francs.) They always short-change you, too, because they know you don’t know anything about their crazy currency system. I'd al- ways say to them, I'd say: “See here, how much is it in regular money?” That'd always get ‘em just crazy Americans are all crazy anyway, though. Gee, you'd ought to see some of the raw shows they put on! Say, there was one we saw (whisper, whisper) and then the comedian says (twhisper, whisper) haw, haw, haw! (whisper, whisper) not a single stitch! Honestly! Say, they'd murder anybody who tried to stage that sort of stuff here in Paris. -+-You can’t really say the Americans are immoral, though; they're just un- moral. Crazy, besides. We got a copy of Le Petit Journal in the quaintest news-stand at a place they call “Times Square.” Certainly seemed good to read about the good old “home folks” after all the flapdoodle they have in their own papers. Naw, I didn’t bother to go to any of the art galleries and things. I let Colette traipse around to them. Me, I was over there to see life—see the way they really live, you know. Well, IT guess I saw it, all right, all right. Nothing gets by this baby except light- ning, and darn little of that, heh, heh! And, anyway, their places ain't so much, in spite of all you hear about ‘em. The li'l old Louvre has anything they got stopped a mile. And Broad- way, shucks! The li'l old Avenue de l'Opéra’s good enough for met Sure, I didn’t have any trouble pickin’ up the language. But you don’t have to. They'll understand you, all right, if you say it with money. You wouldn't be lonesome over there. There's plenty of French over there. Lots of them in business—they run restaurants and things. And say, don’t they make the natives look like suckers, though? Oh, boy! Well, as I said, all Americans are crazy. No, we didn’t go anywheres ex- cept New York. Tip Bliss. A Reminder 'ON: Pa, what is a token of re- membrance? Fatuer: It’s a gift you can’t use from some one you want to forget. comicbooks.com