Life, 1925-11-19 · page 12 of 40
Life — November 19, 1925 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three unrelated satirical pieces typical of *Life* magazine's format: 1. **"Abeyance"** - A melancholic poem about autumn and death, illustrated with a small engraving of a hunt scene. 2. **"The Letters of a Modern Father"** - A humorous letter from a father to his son about finances, specifically regarding Standard Oil stock. The father ironically offers to forgive a $10,000 debt his son owes, using sarcasm to critique the son's financial irresponsibility. 3. **"Archaisms"** - A brief, absurdist anecdote about an explorer discovering Native Americans speaking "ancient English" with outdated phrases. 4. **Bottom cartoon** - Shows a visiting coach questioning a local college manager about "dotted lines" on a football field. The punchline: the manager explains they're necessary because it's a "business college"—satirizing how American colleges prioritize commerce over athletics or academics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE LATIN PROFESSOR’S MENTAL PICTURE OF THE STAR FULLBACK IN ACTION. The Letters of a Modem Father MY DEAR Son: Your letter telling me that you had been wiped out in the decline of Steer- less Twelve motor stock is very dis- tressing. You will recall that when you told me last spring you were getting on this stock to ride until you had trebled your money, you said that out of the profits you would pay back that ten thousand you had borrowed from me to put into that company that was going to force Standard Oil out of business. I have been watching Standard Oil carefully ever since and, though my judgment may be poor, I believe it will go along for several years, at least. So, when Steerless hit one hundred and fifty a share, I said to myself, “Sylves- ter will be unloading now and sending me my ten thousand.” I infer that you did not unload and, by reading between the lines of your letter, that a check from me would not be unwelcome ; but, realizing your state of mind, I am pre- pared to do better than that. I shall just make you a present of that ten thousand you owe me. Your Arrectionate Fatuer. McC. H. Archaisms A HYATT VERRILL, explorer, * has discovered in Central Amer- ica a tribe of Indians who speak “an- cient English.” Including, we suppose, such quaint old phrases as “twenty- three, skidoo,” “rubberneck, stretch it,” and “yes, we have no bananas,” “LJOW long have you had your maid?” “Three sets of dinner dishes.” Abeyance TE dead leaves rustle dismally, The air is cold; The autumn woods loom silently, So dim, so old. 3 Through spectral trees a phantom moon Gleams wan and pale, And o’er eternal frowning hills The night winds wail. I pause where silver vapors whirl Whose clammy breath Around me whispers tauntingly Of summer’s death; Like wolves at some archaic hunt When dawn is nigh, Gray clouds are scurrying athwart The cheerless sky. Beside me on the ancient road My chariot stands, While nameless terrors grip my soul With pallid hands; For men may come, and men may go, But I, alas, Must linger through the centuries: I'm out of gas! N. H. G. Another Confession Story HE had Ben Turpin's eyes, Cy de Bergerac’s nose, Lon Chai figure, Leon Errol’s legs and Ch: Chaplin's feet. But—he had Ro feller’s bank account, and he m: a girl with Lady Godiva's hair, Jane Cowl’s eyes, Marilyn Miller’s s Gloria Swanson’s figure, Pavlowa’s grace and Ann Pennington’s legs, who confided to her friends that true love is the only basis for marriage. Visiting Coach: sure, THE FIELD'S ALL RIGHT, BUT WHAT'S THE IDEA OF THE DOTTED LINES? Local Student Manager: WELL, YOU SEE, THIS IS A BUSINESS COLLEGE, comicbooks.com