Life — October 1, 1925 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE = THE FIRST OF A LONG LINF—NE MISSED THE BOAT Myrtle on the Press HAT Mr. What’s-his-name, Myrtle thinks, has got the right idea in saying that the newspapers print too much crime stuff and scandals, It’s awful, it really is! Of course, she never reads that trash herself, but there are some things you can’t overlook. Take the Stebbins divorce case. Wasn't the testimony just terrible? And, of course, half the things that come out in court never get into the newspapers. That's where they put the little dots in. That's what's the matter with the Younger Generation, reading all those stories about murders and divorces, and what not. They read those stories and then they go out and do the same things. Just for excitement. Those two Chicago boys! And the soldier who shot the taxi driver! Well, thank Heaven, Myrtle isn't built that way. She prides herself on keeping up with, world events—the im- portant ones, you know. Like the civil war in Japan. And why America doesn't pay her war debt to France. As for Myrtle, she doesn’t believe America ought to have to pay her war debt. Didn't we send over our brave boys and knit socks and everything? Anyway, one American can lick any three foreigners. Myrtle’s always said so. But the newspapers seem to think people are more in- terested in—in—well, the dirt, if you know what she means. so they “play up” the items like that. Myrtle always skips them, but sometimes she reads them, just to find out how lew some people's minds are. Wasn't it dreadful how that preacher took the girl down to New Jersey? Did you read the statement the girl gave out? No? Well, Myrtle’s got the clipping somewhere. She'll find it and show it to you. Only it's pretty well worn out. Yes, sir, Myrtle thinks we ought to have more in the papers about educational things. Like how England has a golden standard again. Say, what is a golden standard? Well, no matter....Did you read about the girl's body being found in a suitcase? Wasn't it grucsome? Tip Bliss. Persona Grata LLA: You can't believe anything he says, but it is pleasant to hear him talk. Stetta: Yes, he is a restful liar. Romance SLIP of a girl, pretty as the cover of any magazine, stood waiting on a busy corner, Many, many men and not a few women eyed her askance, some longingly, some enviously. “Lucky the fellow who gets a girl like that!” they all seemed to say, At last a weary, haggard young man came up laden with bundles. He led a droopy dog by a listless chain. “So there you are!” cried the beautiful miss. The man nodded, too tired to. speak. “Did you get the announcements ? “I've stood here hours and hours. changes made in the engraving? with the new ushers? continued the girl. Did you have the Did you call a rehearsal Have you been to the ticket office and secured a compartment? Is your brother in town yet? Have you seen my father about the florist? Have you talked with the janitor of the church yet? Did you get my ring enlarged? How many samples did you bring from the photographer's and did he say he'd send a flashlight man? Has your sister got here yet? I'm just dead, dear. Let’s go eat.” James A. Sanaker. Heading Off a Jest ‘D° you think this country will ever be bone-dry?” “No,” said the Federal enforcement official. “Con- fidentially, I don’t think it ever will be. All that we're trying to do is to make the country dry enough to keep visiting Britons from asking, ‘When does Prohibition = Miia con She: QUITE A NIP IN THE alk, He (excitedly): wwere?