Life, 1925-08-20 · page 15 of 36
Life — August 20, 1925 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Sic Transit** (top section): A courtroom satire mocking legal proceedings. The clerk cannot locate a defendant "Peter Stuyvesant" in records, yet the case proceeds anyway. The prosecutor and judge engage in absurdist dialogue about charging someone for "guilders" and mixing "distilled water" into evidence. The satire targets bureaucratic incompetence and the legal system's willingness to prosecute cases based on unclear or nonexistent documentation. **These Americans/The Michigander** (right): Stereotypical humor about Midwesterners' provincial attitudes—beliefs about Detroit's centrality, automobile ownership, superior fishing, and voting Republican by reflex. **Not a Total Loss** (bottom): A student joke about a failed business course. The page demonstrates LIFE's characteristic blend of institutional critique and light social satire circa the early 20th century.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Sic Transit (“Thousands of Volstead cases have been nolle prossed in the New York district because the defendants have died or are listed as ‘lost’."—News item.) HE JUDG The Clerk will call the next case. Tue Crerk: “The United States versus Peter Stuy- vesant—" Tue Prosecutor: Whot Tue Crerk: Peter Stuyvesant. Tue Derense Counset: Yurronor, I submit that I've looked all through the records and the only Peter Stuyvesant I can find is somebody they named a high school after. Now, Yurronor, I submit that, said high school being con- sidered as bemg now and hereinafter the estate of said Peter Stuyvesant, there exists no evidence that—— Tue Crerk: The paper’s kind of yellow, but the name's perfectly clear, Peter Stuyvesant. The date is sixteen hun- dred and something. (Brightly.) It’s probably an old case. Tue Prosecutor (relieved): Well, then, it must have happened before I took office. Tue Crerk: “That said Peter Stuyvesant did, by force and arms, on or about the aforesaid fourth day of March, sixteen-hundred-and-something”—(apologetically)—it's sort of blurred here—“feloniously, illegally, illicitly and sur- reptitiously, sell, vend and otherwise dispose of ——” Tue Prosecutor: Never mind that. What did he do? Tue Crerk: Well, it seems he charged two guilders for a jorum of Hollander. Tue Prosecutor: Tue Derense Counstn: water and three drops of — Tue Crerk:; I beg your pardon, Four drops. Tue Juvce: Court rules three to be correct. defendant present? Aw Artenvant: Is Peter Stuyvesant here? A Visrtor (whispering): J think that guy's dead. Tue Atrenpant: May it please Yurronor, Peter Stuy- vesant is not present. Tue Jupce: Order case dismissed. Clerk, call next case. : “The United States versus Henry Hud- Two what for a what of what? I know. You take distilled Is the Tue Prosecutor: Who? And so on. Tip Bliss. “THIS,” said Phidias, as he finished the frieze of the Parthenon, “is a great relief.” First Cowpuncher: WHERE YUH HEADIN’ FER, BILL? “OW, NO PLACE IN P'TICULAR, JES’ OUT SEFIN’ TH’ GHTS.” SBrw005 Teacher of Flyi IT’S ALL RIGHT THIS TIME BUT DON'T EVER AGAIN TURN THE DO-HICKY THAT RUNS THE WHAT-CHA-CALL-IT, These Americans The Michigander E thinks all roads lead to Detroit. He thinks anybody who doesn’t own an automobile can't mean right by our Nell. He thinks there are better fish in his lakes than ever were caught. He knows that if he ever goes blind he can vote the Republican ticket by touch. He thinks that football was discon- tinued the year Willie Heston was graduated. McC. H. Not a Total Loss IRST STUDENT: Did you get anything out of Prof. Blinks’ course in modern salesmanship? Seconp Srupent: Sure did. It only took me five minutes to sell Dad that it wasn't my fault I flunked it. ‘ comicbooks.com