Life — July 30, 1925 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Flapper: WHY SHOULDN'T I LEAVE THIS BOOK LYING AROUND? AFTER ALL, MOTHER ISN'T A CHILD. Sister: NO, BUT 1 HAD HOPED TO KEEP HER IN IGNORANCE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. Little Mystery Stories (Much concentrated. Add 20 parts of water before serving) THE PHANTOM DAGGER ASON JONAS is found in the library of his palatial residence, stabbed to the heart with a long knife. He had been about to read his will to his five nephews and his comical old servant, Annie. As he was unsealing the document the lights were turned aut. When they went up, Jonas was found stabbed to the heart. But the was no trace of the weapon! The family lawyer, on attempting to read the will a month later, was stabbed in precisely the same manner, And again no trace of the weapon! This sort of thing goes on for some time. A number of family lawyers are stabbed with a phantom dagger. Suspicion is directed at each of the nephews in turn, Finally, over a law- yer’s dead body, old Annie throws aside her garments, disclosing a policeman's uniform. She denounces Archibald, who had once been a sword-swallower in a circus. After stabbing the lawyers he would swallow the sword. Annie withdraws the tell-tale dagger from Archibald’s wind-pipe. The other four nephews marry nieces, whom I have not bothered to tell about. THE GULLET OF Doom A Tale of Diplomatic Intrigue ONSTERNATION reigns in Wash- ington, The blueprints of Muscle Shoals Dam have disappeared! Unless they are promptly discovered it means war with Patagonia! But Frick the Super Dick plays his accordion and occasionally sniffs the gas-jet, as is his custom when another would succumb to mental stress. Late that afternoon an extraordinary scene took place in the Embassy of Patagonia. The President of Pata- gonia, an old man with a long beard and blue spectacles, handed a package marked “Dollars, One Million,” to the U. S. Secretary of the Interior, an old man with a long beard and blue spec- tacles. He received in return a package marked “Blueprints, Dam.” But at the door he said with a sardonic laugh: “Ha! I must tell you that package does not contain a million dollars! It is merely a bundle of cigar-store coupons !" “Ha! And your package does not contain the Dam blueprints! I ate them this morning!” The President whipped off his beard and glasses, “I am not the President of Patagonia! I am Frick the Super Dick!” The other likewise undid his beard. “And I am not the Secretary of the Interior! I am Cook the Super Crook! I summoned you to the Patagonian Embassy on Tuesday at five and you fell into my trap!” “This is not the Patagonian Em- y! I bought it this morning!" “It is not Tuesday!” “It is not five! Look at your wrist- watch!" “It is not my wrist-watch!” But at Cook's involuntary movement, disclos- ing his wrist, Frick sprang upon the man and rolled up his sleeve. The arm was covered with designs. Before eat- ing the plans of Muscle Shoals he had had himself blueprinted. One of Frick’s most treasured pos- sessions is a letter of unusual brevity. Tt reads merely: “Thanks, C. C.” Morris Bishop. The Great American Diet AZ-Z-ZBERRIES. Applesauce. Banana oil. Bologny. Our Own News Reel comicbooks.com