Life — July 30, 1925 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

At the Pearly Gates ND so, in the fullness of years, Will Hays ascended to Heaven and encountered St. Peter. “You were saying?” suggested the saint politely. “I've all sorts of credentials,” replied Mr. Hays. “Look at what I've done for the movies——" “Did you say ‘done for’ or ‘done to'?” interrupted Peter. “——done for the movies,” continued Mr. Hays, “or, as I prefer to call them, the Infant Industry.” “Infant is right,” commented Peter. “I understand they have the mentality of a three-weeks-old babe.” !" conceded Mr. Hays proudly. ou really can’t imagine the hard work I've gone through elimi- nating the ideas. Especially those taken from books. Honestly, it’s simply ter- ‘The Outline of History,’ for in- stance. Of course, I had the title changed to ‘One Night in Eden’ and made Madame de Pompadour the prin- ul character. Only in the film ver- sion she turns from the primrose path when she sees a pathetic little child, and she comes to America and goes to rose-covered cottage near Herrin, Illinois, where she is instrumen- tal in settling the strike and soon mar- rics the foreman’s son, And to do away with anything suggestive we fixed it so that her—ah—affair with King Louis was just a dream. It turned out elegantly.” “It must have,” agreed Peter. “But, tell me, why have you been so zealous in secing to it that pictures don’t mean anything ?” “Because it's bad for people to think. Why, if we permitted the public to get Our Own News Reel live in a y Exposition at Wembley, England! Girl"in the Sun Mask: SURELY YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ME, MR. SIMS? “ER—JUST A MOMENT, PLEASE; I NEVER WAS QUICK AT FIGURES.” started thinking, there’d be no telling what notions might get into their heads, The first thing you knew they'd be figuring out for themselves that they're really the ones. who pay million-dollar salaries to our noodle-headed stars. And besides, you can't reconcile brains with one-hundred-per-cent. cleanliness, and we've got to be clean above every- thing else.” “How stupid of me that it never oc- curred to me before,” remarked the saint sadly. “Cleanliness, of course. Well, you can go clean to...but no matter. Remember me to Mr. Bryan when you get there. I'm sure you and he will hit it off wonderfully together.” Tip Bliss. Life Savers you know, she’s pounds heavier than you. —that hat's a peach, — you could play that better, I'm sure. —don't tell me it isn’t from Paris. — it makes you look years younger. —and you mean to say you've never had a lesson! — he's darned lucky to have you. —1 wish I had your skin. — the little darling’s the image of you. —bobbed hair makes you look just like Pola Negri. —with your coloring you can wear anything. —my dear, you must be dicting. OWARD: My son failed in his exams and won't be promoted. Jay: Another grade-crossing acci- dent, ch? Tragic Reelism A HORSE dragged the hero over the scenery; A man named Harold tumbled ten flights ; An airplane crashed right down on a greenery; A youth was maddened by bites. A hunter named Charlie was shot in venery ; A cloudburst emptied the gloomy sky ; A deathly struggle was waged in a beanery— Oh, I laughed, and I laughed till 1 thought I'd die! W. LL. Werner. canine OTHER: What did you learn at Sunday school to-day? Betty: Not much. We're still hav- ing the same God. Our Own News Reel Mrs.Boll Pup mothers odd broo A ee arphant of comicbooks.com