Life, 1925-07-16 · page 33 of 40
Life — July 16, 1925 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story satirizes corporate bureaucracy run amok. A man named Amos Pipp simply wants to order two raspberry sundaes at a soda fountain, but the manager—Emory P. Buckheimer—treats this trivial request as a major corporate transaction. He takes Pipp to the executive offices, interviews him intensely, convenes an eleven-member Board of Directors to deliberate, and issues him "yellow checks" as official authorization. The satire mocks how 1920s corporations were becoming increasingly complex and hierarchical, turning simple transactions into byzantine procedures requiring multiple approvals. The joke's absurdity—needing board approval for a sundae—highlights how far removed corporate decision-making had become from actual customer needs. The accompanying Bell Telephone advertisement claiming service is "within the means of all" provides ironic contrast to the satirized bureaucratic bloat.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SOS RES IOMEES Tr Sn “Two Raspberry Sundaes!"’ (Continued from page 13) “I am the manager of this branch of the De Luxe Drug Store and Ice Cream Parlors, Incorporated,” said the gentle- man. “My name is Buckhcimer, Emory P. Buckheimer. What do you wish?” “Two raspberry sundaes!” blurted Mr. Pipp. “Step this wa: said Mr. Buck- heimer, leading Mr. Pipp to the clevator and up eleven stories to the general offices of the company. “Sit down here!” he directed, placing him in a luxurious chair under a spot- light and staring at him intently, “Have you ever applied to any com- pany for raspberry sundaes before?” Mr. Buckheimer demanded at length, after studying his face and evidently coming to a conclusion about it. “Yes, sir.” er been rejected?” No, sir.” indly be seated while I take the matter up with the Board of Directors,” beamed Mr. Buckheimer, handing his cigar to the stenographer, The manager disappeared into the inner office and presently came out with eleven dignified-looking members of the board. They looked at Mr. Pipp. Amos could tell they were discussing him. Three of them came quite close and regarded him critically. After a half-hour’s discussion Mr. Buckheimer abruptly shooed them into the inner office and came over to Mr. Pipp. “Well,” he said, with an ear-to-ear smile, “the Board has decided you are entitled to service!” “Is zat so?” stammered Amos, “Yes. You look like the type of man we can allow to patronize the soda f ain at the De Luxe Emporium. Take these yellow checks; they consti- tute, as it were, your final papers; present them at the soda fountain and you will get your banana splits.” “But I don’t want banana splits!” gasped Amos. “No!” exclaimed the — manager. “That's strange. Well, legally, it would require another meeting to change the minutes and make everything regular, but I will take a chance and give you enough of these checks for an orange parfait.” “Raspberry sundae!" roared = Mr. Pipp, clenching his fists. “My mistake! Raspberry sundae,” agreed the manager. “Go down to the counter and say nothing more about it.” “Thanks,” said Amos, making for ith bloodshot eyes. Presently, in his unnerving dream, he Staggered to the soda counter. Mrs. Pipp, he fancied, glared at him in anger. “I thought you was lost,” he heard her complain. “What happened?” “I was buying checks,” explained Amos sourly, Within the means of all Visitors from foreign countries invariably wonder at the number of telephones in America. “Why is it,” they ask, “that nearly everybody in America has a telephone, while in Europe telephone service is found only in a limited number of offices and homes?” First of all, telephone rates in the United States are the lowest in the world for the service given. Here, since the beginning, the best service for the greatest number of people has been the ideal. By constant improvement in efficiency and economy the Bell System has brought telephone service within the means of all. From the start, its rate policy ‘as been to ask only enough to pay fair wages and a fair return on investment. The American people are eager to adopt whatever is use- ful. They have found that Bell telephone service, compre- hensive, prompt and reliable, connecting them with the people they wish to reach, is worth far more to them than the price charged for it. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES BELL SYSTEM One Policy, One System, Universal Service *What'll it be?" asked the clerk. | “You'll have to make it snappy. We're closin’ up in five minutes!” “TWO RASPBERRY SUNDAES,” shouted Amos. Checks ?” asked the clerk. snapped Amos, with an air of triumph, as he flung his yard-and-a- half of yellow checks on the counter. “Here they are!" There was a moment's silence. “No good,” said the clerk, handing them back. “These are the wrong color! You have to get red, white and blue checks for raspberry sundacs!” With a scream Mr. Pipp vaulted the counter, killed the clerk with an empty ginger-ale case and jammed his body into an ice-cream tub, eee “Have you anything to request be- fore sentence is pronounced?” asked the Judge two months later. “Yes,” snapped Mr. Pipp. “What is it?” asked the Court. “Two raspberry sundaes!” roared Mr. Pipp sternly. comicbooks.com