Life — July 16, 1925 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DINOSAUR 600,00 HAD FAMILY SKELETO: CLOSETS IN THOSE DAYS KEEPING politics out of this or that has become so popular that we'd not be surprised to hear of a movement to keep politics out of politics, - LIFE - Selling Centerville The One Hundred Per Center Abroad The Leviathan (S.S.) EAR Jerr: Well, Jeff, here it is pretty near 11 o'clock at night and all the lights are still turned on on the ship and no- body in bed yet. The “old boat” is still “tied up at dock,” as they say. I am not sick a bit and haven't been, but there are some people here who look like they only got one friend and his name is Sudden Death, I looked all over the ship for a reg- ister to sign my name with “Center- ville, Iowa” after it, like the Chamber of Commerce back home told me to when they knew good old Kiwanis was going to send me abroad as its most popular member. Well, ne nee Jef, 1 could not oes aes find any register,’ Caeace | probably because the leer clerk had gone to bed, but I will look around to-morrow, and if there is no register I will get my old jack- knife out that I won at the clambake by cating the most water- melons, and I will carve “Centerville, Towa” all over the ship. “Leave it to me,” Jeff. Say, Jeff, I met a guy on the board who said his name is Jas. S. Collins, so I asked him where he was go- ing and he said Lon- don and Paris and all over, and I said That's funny for that is where I am going, too, and the world is certainly a small place after all. So he said Yes, but some places are smaller than others, and I said Where are you from, and he said, Bellows Falls, Vermont, one of the biggest places in Windham County. Well, that made me laugh because who ever heard of Windham County, but I did not want to hurt anybody's feelings, so I said, Well, I don’t want to hurt anybody's feelings, but I never heard of Windham County, but Cen- terville is the biggest place in cither Appanoose or Monroe County and we “HERE Y’ARE, GENTS! ETIQUETTE! YUL would have 20,000 people only the cen- sus takers cheated. I told him to “put that in his pipe and smoke it,” but he pretended to laugh it off. So then the “Mrs.” called me over where she was and introduced me to a lady named Mrs. Geo. Fife, and this Mrs. Fife said she was only sorry she had not seen more of New York, so I told her the first thing we did was get a “texas cab” and drive down to sce the Flat Iron Building. She got all red in the face, so I told her not everybody could think of the right thing right away, and I gave her some of my cards with “Centerville, Iowa” on GIT DE LATEST BOOK ADOUT CAN'T FAT IF YUM DON’T KNOW DE RULES!" them and asked her to pass them to any- body she met. You can't get ahead of Centerville “pep,” Jeff. It is almost 12 now, and you might think there was an Elks Carnival in town, all the noise there is. Well, Jeff, “Olive oil,” as they say. Sam. (per Tip Bliss.) Perennial M‘ve: Did you find you had sup- plies enough for your unexpected guests? Beatrtx: Everything gave out but the scandal. comicbooks.com