Life, 1925-06-04 · page 26 of 44
Life — June 4, 1925 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes college life through two interconnected jokes: **Top section:** "Their Pictures Never Appear in the Yearbooks" mocks the campus underworld—students and townspeople who profit from or exploit college life but remain invisible in official records. These include a expelled biology note-taker, a shopkeeper extending credit to graduates, black-market cigar and alcohol smugglers, a girl collecting fraternity pins, and even the groundskeeper who replants ivy after class celebrations. The satire targets how institutions ignore the actual commerce and moral compromises surrounding student life. **Bottom section:** The cartoon and "Statistic" mock the proliferation of increasingly absurd academic programs. The procession lists legitimate departments alongside ridiculous ones ("Bachelors of Dairy Husbandry," "Radio Announcing," "Scenario Construction," "Income Tax Report Filing")—suggesting universities were becoming credentialing mills for any marketable skill rather than centers of learning. The statistic's dark joke: "Four out of five graduates get it in the neck before they're forty"—meaning financial ruin awaits most graduates regardless of their diploma.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE FELLOW WHO GOT THROUGH COLLEGE ON HIS FOOTRALL SUPREMACY TAKES HIS DIPLOMA Their Pictures Never Appear in the Year Books Her E J. PRING who was summarily expelled in his Junior year by the dean, but whose biology notes have enabled the brothers of Delta Phi to pass Biology 11-12 jor the last ten years, Praxitele the village tuck shop or ice-cream par Gamma NX. Poppopolous—owner of lor, whose hooks show a yearly deficit oi three hundred doliars for credit ex- tended to members of the graduating class. elbraham J, Goldstcin—the best live- wire “smuggled Havana cigars” that ever canvassed Fraternity Row. Elmer P. Tow. of the village drug store. charges for the bottle. Winnie ott Mayfair (alias John Smith, Slim Pickens.” Scotty” )—averages coonskin coats, six Id watches and two dozen rings, stickpins and cuff links a semester. Still at large. Estelle Mae daughter of Aggie de Castrer salesman of —the genial owner He never alias alias “Gentleman four MeCready — grand- Has the finest collection of fraternity pins and the swiftest line in America. Solomon Blints—“the undergraduate’s friend.” He pays cash for anything. Maurice F. X. Goldstein (brother of Abrakam J.)—specializes in smuggled English suitings direct from the Ver- mont looms. Always glad to help a Freshman select his first dinner jacket. Sandy T. McPherson — campus groundkeeper and gardener. He re- plants the class ivy the day after the ivy oration and keeps it green. William § engraver, 1 itor and edito Crampton—printer and yout man, managing ed- in-chief, this bird x officio, Vi it wasn't for there never would be any year books Henry William Hanemann. Statistic ‘OUR out of five college graduates get it in the neck before they're forty. Dokotry ote The Commencement Pro- cession of the Future HE Presivent or tHe University Tue Boarp or Trustees Tne Facutty oF tHe Scoot oF Opn- THALMIC Reseaxcit Tue Facutty or tite Scnoot or Pro: TOZOAN Patuovocy Tue Facunty or tie Scoot. or Book kerrinc Metnons Turk Facunty or tie Brick Lavine eee Scuoor or Tur Proressor or Liperat Arts eee Tur Director or Pusticity or tir University Tur Director or ExpowMent Drives Tur University oe ARCHITECTS Bano Tue Footpau. Coacu Bano Tne Footeatt, Team Banp eee Bacnetors or Dairy Huspannry SACHELORS oF Hovusewirery Bactecors or Rapio ANNOUNCING Bachetors or Scenario Construction Ixcome Tax Repowt Fininc Bachetors or Bacuetor or Arts Richard L. Greene. COMMENCEMENT EXERCISES comicbooks.com