Life — May 14, 1925 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Ever Grateful for the Prize” prizes are the order of the day. 0 many are distributed annually to poets that, from being the starvelings of literature, they are fast becoming its plutoerats. Artists are equally fortu- nate. Since the happy discovery that everybody can draw and paint, there is no stage of incompetence which does not meet with liberal encouragement and remuneration, Every twelve months brings a fresh crop of heroes and heroines to claim the Carnegie prize. Virtue, which once had only itself for a reward, and which consequently went Ican to its grave, is now fat with bene- Good citizenship, once an or- dinary obligation, is now in the nature of an exotic, publicly recognized, and ceremoniously recompensed. This being the case, why not offer a few first-class prizes for deeds of diffi- culty and daring, or for those supreme renuneiations which will delight and benefit the world? The following sug- cestions are offered diffidently in the name of a patient public which tries not to ask the impossible. urnalistic prise. To be awarded to iny newspaper, daily or weekly, which suffers the 22d of February to pass without a reference to the hatchet and cherry-tree incident. This prize should he a handsome one because of the super- human restraint which is entailed. It is hoped, however, that the editor who ictices such restraint, and sees that : circulation of his paper has not vis- y declined, may in following years repeat the experiment out of sheer har- dihood and love of adventure. Cartoonist prize. .To be awarded to factions, Captain: HEY, YOU WITH THE FLASK, GET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BOAT. “A FINE BIRTHDAY PRESENT! ONLY any humorous artist who ventures to draw a profiteer with a thin wife, or a ward politician without a cigar; and who succeeds these labeled types recognizable to the public. Social servic varded to any social worker who for six con- secutive months has abstained from using the words “uplift” and “efficiency. Cinema prize. To be awarded to any screen actress who for a calendar year per- mits her mouth to re- main the shape which nature designed =a human mouth to be, instead of painting it into that weird distor- tion known as “Cupid's bow.” It is thought that the moving-pic- ture — public — among whom must be count- un- =~ THEY FORGOT TO BRING THE WATER.” ed some intrepid realists—will con- tribute handsomely to this prize. Pro- fessors and students of anatomy may be glad to help. Commercial price. To be to any department store which for a calendar year refrains from advertising “chic” garments for “Milady’s” wear. This prize should be of value, for it is not known whether women in a world made safe for Democracy can be inured to the shock of democratic terms. But it is an experiment worth the trying. Agnes Repplier. To the Victor — aware ‘I HEAR that you're going to marry the lawyer who won that million- dollar estate case for you.” “Tt was the only wa ever be able to sce any of the money.” my dear, I'd i ELL, it certainly is no use talk- ing,” said the fat man when he failed to squeeze himself into the tele- phone booth. comicbooks.com