Life, 1925-05-07 · page 12 of 44
Life — May 7, 1925 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces: **"Free Air" Cartoon**: Depicts a child at a gas pump labeled "FREE AIR," wanting to take some to a sick sister. The joke satirizes how gas stations advertise "free air" as a service perk while profiting from fuel sales—the only thing genuinely free is worthless to the customer. **"Ballad of Old-Time Drama"**: A poem by Kenneth Allan Robinson lamenting melodramatic theater conventions (lost love, separation, moral absolutes) by repeatedly asking "Where are the lines of yester-year?"—reflecting early 20th-century shift away from Victorian theatrical styles. **"Summer Forecast"**: Humorous predictions about American leisure and consumption habits, written by James D. Ashley. Appears to mock mass-market behaviors and statistics. **"The Conscientious Reporter"**: A cartoon about newspaper reporters and liquor seizures during Prohibition.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE * The Kid: Cov.v 1 Get SOME OF THAT FREE AIR, MISTER? 1 WANT TO TAKE IT TO MY SISTER—SHE’S SICK. Summer Forecast 4 178,520 moths will praise the Lord for raccoon coats. 9 11,020,500 straw hats will be bought. 200 will suit wearers a week after purchase. 1,907,111 will predict their next tee shots will be holed One of these will be a great pest forever after. 19,067 fans will dope the race for the world’s baseball title correctly. 5,054,369 fans will say, “I told you so.” 200,759 wives will insist on playing golf with hubbies, 200,739 wives will claim their hubbies started the fights. 23,830,693 people will plan to. start saving for Christmas. 7,630 people will start saving. 5,669,004 men will spend their vaca- tions at the resorts their wives sclect. Of the 13,967 men who will go to places of their own choosing, 13,967 will be bachelors. 1,849 artists and writers will decide to quit playing golf because it causes them to neglect their work. The writ- ings and drawings of these 1,849 will suffer because too much goli is played. 486,952 hot weather, fishing, golf, Fourth of July, baseball and vacation jokes and quips will be published. 4 will be almost new. James D. Ashley. Ballade of Old-Time Drama WHITHER, on Styx or Elysian lea, Have strayed those lines of the old-time show? Say them with rue and with rosemary: “Your wife? Never! I spurn you. Go!” “Hound, you'll live to regret that blow!” “What! Not dead? Ralph Brookfield here!” “I'll deck you with gems from head to toe.” Where are the lines of yester-ycar? “We call her de Rose of our Alley. Gee! Ain't she a sight for de angels, though?” “Great God, the switch—if my hands were free—” “Who were my parents? I don't know. I was cast ashore in the cold and snow, And Uncle Dave kept the lighthouse near . . Hearts and Flowers, Professor—slow ! Where are the lines of yester-year? “Aha, my pretty one, trapped, I see; Sign the deed, or my men will throw Your meddlesome lover who strove with me Over the edge of the mine-shaft. So Dale Bloodgood deals with his every foe!” “I go to fight for my country, dear.” “Can you close your heart to a mother’s woe?” Where are the lines of yester-year? LEsvor “Though her raiment’s coarse and her station's low, I love her, Father, and hold her peer To the proudest duchess in Rotten Row!" Where are the lines of yester-year? Kenneth Allan Robinson. The Conscientious Reporter HOSE of us who have sampled some of the stuff that is being peddled nowadays know what the newspapers mean when they say, “Dry agents seized fifty cases of alleged liquor.” “GOLF'S AN ABSOLUTE RELIGION WITH HIM.” comicbooks.com