Life, 1925-04-30 · page 8 of 42
Life — April 30, 1925 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces: 1. **"Ballade of Business"** — A poem mocking how friendship becomes transactional. The accompanying illustration shows two women meeting, with one claiming she can't afford a shopping trip because "business is business after all"—the refrain emphasizing how financial self-interest overrides personal loyalty. 2. **"If Gertrude Stein Wrote a Soap Ad"** — A parody of modernist writer Gertrude Stein's repetitive, abstract style applied absurdly to soap advertising. It satirizes both Stein's experimental writing and commercial advertising's pretensions to profundity. 3. **"Fairy Story"** — A cartoon showing two men on a train where one holds property deeds, satirizing how wealth and land ownership now define modern narratives instead of traditional fairy-tale virtues. The page targets materialism, commercial culture, and literary pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Cea “HELLO, DEARIE—JUST DROPPED IN TO SEE IF YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO GO SHOPPING WITH ME.” “SORRY, MY DEAR, BUT { CAN'T SIMPLY MUST BUY SOME- THING TO-DAY. If Gertrude Stein Wrote a Soap Ad. HITE white pure white. White is pure and pure means white. Means Ivory which is white and pure and soap. Pure pure poor who said poor it is not poor it is pure and it is pure for ninety nine percents and it is pure for forty four one hundredths of another percent and after that it is not pure. For fifty six one hundredths of a percent it is not pure. No no not pure, and we do not care if that is so. If so or if soap, It washes hands and chemises and flannels and faces and ears and behind ears but not behind faces or flannels or chemis Washes washes and does not wash washing more than it does not wash, It is made by a Procter and it is made by a Gamble and it is made by a Procter but not on a gamble. I am told this this is what I am told and I know nothing but what I am te'd. I know nothing. I think that this is the end of my song of soap and whit ness and percents and purity and Procter. I think that my A song and no song and no song but sung. Allan S. Becker. song is done. No more or more or or and no more. Combined Heredity HE woman who counted her chickens before they were hatched married the man who crossed his bridges before he came to them, and now their son is a huge success making promises for politicians. Ballade of Business UT on the links or on the shore, Whether we're shooting golf or dice, I'll lend you my favorite niblick, or Laugh at your jokes, if they’re full of spice. Oh, I'll be your boy-friend and all that's nice; But if you ask for the greenbacks tall, Why, six per cent. is my market price— Business is business after all! Say what you will, I'm your pal and more; Here is my hand—you can shake it thrice. Till stick to you till the final score— Why, I've a heart that can melt like ice! Now, at your wedding I'll shower rice, But don’t expect me to hire the hall! For when money talks, I don't think twice— Business is business after all! Into your glass I'll freely pour Kiimmel or rye, and give advice. But if you come to my clothing store, To buy a suit at a wholesale slice, Don't think you'll get it be precise (Mind you, not that I'm tight or small), It’s just the custom of men and mice: Business is business after all! Invoice: Prince uf good-fellows, in a trice I'm at your social beck and call, But, whether your name is Jones or Weiss, Business is business after all! Max Lief. Fairy Story said the famous after-dinner speaker, "I have absolutely nothing to say this evening.” Then he sat down “WHAT BECAME OF THAT BEAUTIFUL FOREST THAT USED TO BE ALONG HERE?” “YOU'RE HOLDING PART OF IT IN YOUR HA comicbooks.com