Life — March 19, 1925 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wright SO YOU'VE SEEN MY LITTLE PLAY—AND HOW DID YOU LIKE 17? Hostess: WELL, 1 THOUGHT THE CENSOR’S WORK IN THE SFCOND ACT WAS SIMPLY CORKING. True Story CE upon a time, dear children, there was’ a Big Business Man named Ernest K. Phud who admitted in an interview that his success was duc to his having inherited a partnership in the concern. Mr. Phud's office equipped with a pencil sharpener which never broke off the points of the pencils, a calendar with the leaves al- ways torn off properly to the right month, a water cooler with a supply of cups perfectly visible, and an office hoy who never told callers that Mr, Phud was in an important conference. As a matter of fact, Mr. Phud never was in conference. “Lam purely decorative around here,” he would assure newspaper reporters frankly. “Any one of my clerks knows more about the business than I do. 1 am just a figurehead and it is lucky I was own the business, because otherwise I could not earn thirty dollars a week.” Mr. Phud encouraged his employees to address him “Old Windbag,” especially when visiting eap- italists and presidents of fashionable golf clubs were present. On Mr. Phud's seventieth birthday, he was visited by a representative of “Who's Who.” “Tell him I'm not in,” was his firm answer. If you have swallowed this, dear children, next week we shall tell you the one about how they arrest all the big bootleggers and let the little ones go free. Tip Bliss. Ernie” or You may not kiss me! —let's declare a moral- torium. Rondeau of Beauty HEN Beauty calls, do not delay; Stow all your earthly cares aw: Pursue her over vale and town And seize her by her silken gown— She cannot lead you far astray! With Robert Herrick I must sa “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.’ Just smile and ask, “Won't you sit down?” When Beauty calls. Don’t wait until your hair turns gray, Make this your motto: Toujours gai! For Life's a jester; Time, a clown; Why wear those wrinkles and a frown?... Go get a face-massage and clay. When Beauty calls! Max Lief. The Louvain Library Fund INCE the Mecca of the world’s scholars and students, the Louvain Library as the Great War closed was a shattered ruin, in a country too im- poverished to attempt its restoration. Then, America, to help “restore the years that the locust hath eaten.” promised the Library should be rebuilt On faith in her pledge reconstruction began. That America’s promise should be broken is unthinkable! A national mat ter, and for the honor of our country, we have all simply got to make good. Please help Previously Anonymous College Bertha N. Pope, Oberli “A friend for Louvain", acknowledged. . .$666.00 Donor, Vassar $5.00 5.00 5.00 $681.00 Journalistic Portraits The Recruit Pitcher of the Home Team HE has more speed than Amos Rusie. more control than old Cy Young, more intelligence than Christy Mathew- son and more stamina than Iron Man McGinnity, He won thirty games in the minor league last year and hit over three hundred. His fielding record is better than Honus Wagner's. He is the greatest pitching discovery since Walter Johnson. He will start back to Shreveport next week McC. H. HE only cure for a business ad- ministration is to have one. comicbooks.com