Life — January 1, 1925 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Srocan for the first week in Jan- uary: This is National Send-the- A Happy New Year, World, and bright and fair And not the least bit colder! What! it's your birthday, Well, I declare! You don't look one day older! JL Women, says Capt. Grorce L. Daxte, of the National Military Order of the World War, are particularly radical propagandists, because men, espe- cially Americans, are slow. to suspect them of destructive aims. An attempt to get at the funda- mental truth contained in the foregoing has resulted in the de- letion of a number of obviously The Cap- World? dangerous unnecessary words. tain’s statement, as shortened, should read: Women are dan- Men are men. JL As we recall it, Rupyarp Kip \ LING once expressed these same \ somewhat more gerous. sentiments in quotable form. +L “We all know what happened to Kerensky,” writes Capt. Francis McCuttacu in the Her- ald Tribune. By the v Kerensky? , what ever did happen to LL A professor at Princeton urges the use of crossword puzzles in our uni- versitics. He's a little late. Up at Harvard the students have been busy since the close of the football season trying to find a five-letter word mean- ing “coach.” aL Women smoke only because they are unhappy, a Viennese scientist. Some we know must be absolutely morbid. says —L In the recent election in Germany can- didates were elected by the Social Democrats, Nationalists, Centrists, Peo- ple’s Party, Communists, Bavarian Peo- ple’s Party, Democratic Party, “V6lk- isch” Party and Economic Party. There doesn’t seem to be much room over there for a Third Party. aL The movement to stop the publication of income-tax payments probably orig- inated with those jealous persons whose names failed to be printed. THE YOUNG GENERATION Another prominent pedagogue, Prof. Kart P. Harrincton of Wesleyan, wants the students to give up singing “Drink a Highball at Nightfall,” on the ground that the highball is an ob- solete drink. Prof. Harrincton’s sub- The Best News Story of the Week Distocated Jaw, Result of Crossword Puzzle Los AnceLes.—Fatigued by hours of futile study of a crossword puzzle, W. E. Caruthers stretched his mouth in such a yawn that he dislocated his jaw. At the receiving hospital surgeons to-day said it was the city’s first crossword puzzle casualty. —New York American. ject is Latin, which we understand is an obsolete language. The students might propose an interesting trade here aL The undergraduates at the University of Rochester and at Trinity College are doubtless enormously grateful to Mr. Eastman and Mr. Duke for their munificent gifts; but we believe that there are few of them, if any, who wouldn't rather have had Red Grange. aL The name of Duxe was writ in smoke, As grateful smokers all ac- knowledge; He gilded Learning’s empty poke And wrote his name across a college. aL As the Governor of Texas said to the Governor of Wyoming, “It's a long time between cos- metic: aL We hear that a Ford costs $1,800 in Germany. The Ger- mans will soon be abandoning the Dawes plan for the instal- ment plan. aL The Democratic Party is al- ready making plans for 1928. First of all, it must account for the wholesale defection to the Repub- lican Party. Western Democrats think that Samiti is responsible for the de- feat of the party; Eastern Democrats are putting the garlands of blame on the brow of McApoo. At the moment the only leader who is definitely out of the contest is Joun W. Davis. LL What the Democratic Party really needs is more Democrats. aL The latest news from China indicates that General Cuanc Tso Lix of Man- churia has thrown the weight of his armies with General Lu for an expe- dition against General Cur. If this war goes on much longer, we'll have a whole new set of words available for use in our crossword puzzles. +L New Year Thought—Only 302 more shopping days before Christmas. comicbooks.com