Life — December 11, 1924 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tomorrow morning Enjoy a new kind of shave: a shave that not only softens your beard — quick — but leaves your skin refreshed all day long. dealer has it. Large size tube 85c: double size tube S0c, containing twice as much cream, Williams Shaving Cream With the Hinge—Cap you can’t lose Ballistics A new 16-inch coast-defense gun is said to throw a ton of metal twenty- cight miles out to sea. How far would it throw a saxophone, and why not? —Detroit News. THE SERMON ON DRESS “PINALLY, MY DEAR SISTERS, REMEM- BER THAT BY EXMIBITING BARE ARMS 100 T OR TOO LARGE YOU ARE INTERFERING WITIE CUR VOCATION, WHICH 18 TO RENOUNCE SUCH THINGS, BELIEVING THEM TO BE DESIRABLE!” —Le Rire (Paris). MEDITERRANEAN (Jan. 31) AROUND THE WORLD (Jan. 30) NORWAY and MEDITERRANEAN (July 1) Seasonal cruises by supcth. specially chartered, rew, etl-burning Cunarders. Reasonable rates include botels, drives, guides, fers. ete. European stopovers. LONGEST EXPERIENChD MANAGEMENT Expert staff, Limited membership. SOUTH AMERICA. — Small party leaves Jan. 22 Please specify program desired, CLARK'S TOURS Times Bldg., N. Y- FOR g MEN OF BRAINS IGARS -MADE AT KEY WEST— How Jerry Bent His Nose There was quite a big dent in Jerry's nose. It looked as if it had been broken once, as I supposed, in a fight, and one night I asked him about it. “No,” he said, shaking his head sadly, “it wasn't broke in any scrap.” “How did you get it dented, then?” 1 asked. But he seemed rather shy about ex plaining the cause of his misfortune. “Oh, you fellows would laugh at me if I told you,” he said. However, finally we coaxed him to tell us all about it. “IT was in bed one night,” he began. “and had the delirium tremens. All of a sudden I heard a lot of guns going off, Then a bugle called and I sat up in bed. Bands were playing, and I saw about 10,000 soldiers marching around the room. Some fellow yelled out, ‘We are at war! Fallin!’ In all the excitement I jumped out of bed and joined in the parade, with all these fellows marching around the room, and we marched and marched and marched. Finally, they started marching through the key- hole. I tried to follow them, and in try- ing to get through the keyhole I broke my nose!"—James J. Corbett, in Saturday Evening Post. Ina Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT=EASE That Boston Joke A number of boys were playing base- ball in a vacant lot in Boston, when the ball crashed through the window of an adjacent house. The wrathful house: holder stormed out in pursuit of the guilty ones. He managed to capture one spectacled, slow-footed youth, “I didn’t do it, mister! I wasn’t play- ing with them,” the lad panted. “Then what did you run for?” roared the injured man. “I—I'm afraid that I was a vietim of the prevailing mob hysteria, sir.” —Country Gentleman Glass of Soda with tablespoonful Abbott's Bitters a by mall, 25 good tonic and palatable, Sample Bitters ct. In stamps. C. W, Abbott & Co, Raltimore, Ma A Determined Man “I told my wife that if she bobbed her hair I would leave her.” “But she bobbed it; and you're still living with her?” “You bet I am. I'll show her she can’t bluff me.”"—Houston Post-Dispatch, Frrenp: You had a very fashionable audience, didn’t you? Pia Very. At one time there was not a single person in the room who was listening.—Boston Transcript. Notntxc can be mocker than mock duck.—Ohio State Journal. Sa Slendemess will make you more atractive~ 7_ Are you worried because you areoverweight? Afraid you are losing your charm, your youthful figure? Stout women are at a disadvantage. Pretty clothes no longer fit them, their movements are awkward, their attractiveness deserts them. Friends are sympathetic. But many of these friends have a secret method of keeping slender! They use Mar- mola Tablets (thousands of men and women each year regain slender figures this way). These tablets will make you slender again, too. Try them. No exercises or diets—just a pleasant, healthful way of becoming slender. All drug stores have them — one dollar a box. Or they will be sent in plain wrap- 1, postpaid, by the Marmola Co., 1843 eneral Motors Bldg., Detroit, Mich. MARMOLA Prescription Tablets Tie Pleasant Way toSeeduce Love Seng The sea is whooping up for fair; The sea-gulls mew; The ship is lurching here and there— And so are you. Your gaze upon the deck, you do Not look at me. And I—I do not look at you, But at the sea—Yale Record. Aw artist is known by the critics he praises.—Musical Cour A KU KLUX WASH-DAY —The Caveman (Wabash College). comicbooks.com