Life — November 13, 1924 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Few Definitions An optimist: one who hopes, when he orders a bottle of near-beer, that the waiter will make a mistake. A pessimist: one who always carries in umbrella. Lov the sugar in the cocktail of romance. Marriage: the lemon juice. A sense of humor: the laughing gas in the dentist office of despair. Hope: the triumph of illusion over experience. Anticipation: ordering the dinner f desire in the restaurant of doubt. Realization: the bill for the dinner. Vanity: egoism wearing a bouton- ire. The other woman: ve’s deck of cards. A cynic: a sentimentalist who pours negar in his coffee. C. G. S. The Great Game Over the Radio Yate punts to Harvard's forty-two- ird line, as...Dartmouth’s left tackle recovers fumble and runs half the ength of the field for...a loss of ten yards around Princeton's right end. There is wild cheering as...aeroplane flies over grandstand distributing ad- vertisements for Listerstick’s holeproof siery...on Pennsylvania's third down, though...Cornell smashes through... Notre Dame's centre for...field goal the joker in Here is relief for you You are young — until a change in weather brings rheumatic twinges. Or you are limber — until stiffness follows some hard or prolonged exer- cise or exertion. Apply Absorbine, Jr. promptly — tonight —or whenever such pain or discomfort next threatens. Feel it ease the pain in those muscles and joints at once. And in the morning, you are as fit a3 ever. Absorbine, Jr. breaks up con- gestion by quickening the circulation, | Keep it at hand in the medicine cabinet — a first aid in emergencies. At all druggists’, $1.25, id Literal otal beth 10, pspad “shine” on face This keeps the skin fresh, ruddy, vigorous LDER men will remember this famous after- shaving lotion. For 10 years it has been un- available in America, due to the war. Those who have never used it have a new shaving joyinstore. Fora few drops rubbed on the face gives a tingling glow of new health—of vigorous freshness. This famous men’s toilet water is Eau de Cologne —No. 4, a favorite since 1709. It harmlessly closes pores, thus reducing perspiration, the cause of “shine.” It stimulates the tissues—gives that quick- warm-then-cold feeling that makes shaving a real delight. And the face improves after using it, which makes shaving faster, more comfortable. At your drug store today, ask for Eau de Cologne —No. 4. Insist upon the only original and genuine in the bottle and carton as illustrated. After one bottle you'll never be without it again. In three sizes at druggists 2oz., 65¢; 4-02., $1.25; 8-oz., $2.00 Service Laporatonies, INc., Cutcaco Sole Importers and Distributors for the U.S. A. Ean de Cologne The dine comes from... Williams's three-yard line and ...intercepts forward pass as. . .Colum- bia quarterback...holds Villa Nova on .. onside kick to Trinity's twenty-eight- yard line...when Amherst scores safety .+-While referee announces. ..Southern Railway Preferred: Seventy-nine and seven-cighths. Limbo Lawyer: Better plead guilty. The Judge will give you only two years at the outside. Cutprit: Yaas. But how many years on de inside he gwine gimme? Dat what I want to know. A Note on the future and past: Nothing is as delightful as we anticipate it, just as nothing seems as dreadful as it actually was. Expense At Our -— Cool, Comfortable Shaving Tu verdict is now is peer hands —If you do not find from actual use that Ingram's Therapeutic Shav- ing Creamgives youaquicker,closer shave, without thecustomary smart- ing after effect—and that it leaves your face as soft and cool as though ow had used a lotion—we will re- fund its full purchase price. Get from your druggist, or if he c supply you,send S0c with his and ad 8 and we will maila jar direct to you. Ifyou arenot entirely satisfied,returnthejerand ‘our money willbere- . funded. Or send 2c stamp for sample. particularly for Frederick F. Co, 1138Tenth St.,. aca tose Also Windsor, Ont. comicbooks.com