Life, 1924-11-13 · page 14 of 42
Life — November 13, 1924 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a humorous story and illustrations about football and life advice, rather than political satire. **Main Content:** "Father Knows Best" - a narrative poem about Phelim Rafferty Keefe O'Keefe, a large Irish boy (200 pounds) whose father advises him to join the football team at Insertnameof College to develop strength and character for "the wallops of real life." **The Joke:** The story follows O'Keefe's football career over 25 years, ending with him as an adult ice-wagon driver in the city—suggesting his father's grand advice about football preparing him for life didn't lead to impressive outcomes. **Social Context:** This reflects early 20th-century American attitudes about athletics building character and the immigrant Irish experience in urban America. The humor relies on the disconnect between aspirational parental guidance and ordinary working-class reality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OUR TEAM 1S GOING TO TRY A FORWARD PASS, He: $-S-Su! DON'T LET EVERYBODY KNOW IT. Song: Father Knows Best Adelbert Arlington lacked the brawn with which O'Keefe had been blessed But he wore a 756 hat, though he boasted no 50 chest. HELIM RAFFERTY KEEFE O'KEEFE was a lad of brawn and bone, Two hundred pounds on the hoof he weighed and his muscles were stcel and stone. His father gazed at his frame with pride and mentioned his lifelong dream Of seeing his son on old Insertnameof College's football there you will learn to give and take,” he said, “in the gridiron’s strife The hard, hard knocks that prepare a man for the wallops of real life. It's the man of action who wins to-day—not the bookworm stuffed with lore, So get on the football team, my lad, if in life you want to score!” ee -G00L9>— FOOTBALL TALK A SURE GAIN AT CENTRE His father looked at his merit card with a series of pride- ful snorts And said, “My lad, I'm happy to see your excellent school reports. For it’s brains that win in the game of life—the bright men, not the dull; Don't fret about making athletic teams—develop what's in your skull!” So Keefe pranced round on the football field while Adel- bert studied hard. The papers ran pictures of Keefe O'Keefe, Insertnameof's Greatest Guard, While Arlington pulled down a summa cum and won a scholarship twice. And their fathers said, “You'll never regret that you fol- lowed my advice.” Twenty-five years elapse. An ice wagon stops on a city street. O'Keefe gets down from the step and lugs in a cake to Mrs. Kleet. “Sevenny poun’s!” he roars and Arlington marks a card in his cap, Flaps the reins on the horse's back and murmurs a low “Giddap!” Baron Ireland. A Modern Introduction IM: I didn’t know you knew Edith until I saw you together last night. Sam: Oh, yes! I met her in a revolving door, and began going around with her. comicbooks.com